Top tips for prioritising your mental health whilst planning your wedding

Wedding planning can get crazy. It’s so easy to lose sight of what matters and get totally frazzled in the process. I know this because I did it myself! Guest list, table plans, venues, outfits, family dynamics and friendship politics; It’s enough to drive anyone up the wall. Remember; this is supposed to be fun, and be about you two being in love - that’s all! So let’s have a little re-centre and focus on things to make us calm, relaxed and excited about the big day ahead.

Staying calm

Meditate

Wedding planning or not, having some down time to quieten your racing mind is always a good thing. I find it hard to do this without a voice leading me, so I use the app Headspace. It takes you through meditations for various times and scenarios, and even helps you drift off to sleep at night. Regularly checking in with yourself can help balance you and bring some peace.

Exercise

You may love to run, swim, dance or play a sport - and then you’ll already know the restorative feeling you get from exercising. You may be more like me (whose fave part of yoga is savasana - the bit at the end when you get to lay down). In which case, a sunset walk or a few gentle stretches might be more tempting, and can reset you for the next bit of wedding planning. Even better, you can do this with your partner and make it more fun!

Shelah Marie

Disability and Me

Give fewer shits!

Easier said than done, I know. My top tip here would be follow the mantra ‘What if I do nothing?’ So if a task or worry comes up around wedding planning, ask yourself that question. More often than not, you’ll come up with ‘reasons’ why you need to work, but keep asking yourself why. If the answer is ‘because people are expecting it’, sack it the hell off. Your day, your rules.

Staying on top of it

Organisation

You don’t need to be a hardcore freak in the (Excel spread-) sheets or avid mood-boarder. But I guarantee you will feel calmer and happier if things are written down and visualised. It’s helpful to know what’s been done, what’s still to do and set deadlines for tasks. Just do bite-sized chunks at a time.

If you’re not sure where to start, I’ve written a blog post about what you might want to organise for your wedding. My absolute top tip here is using a Trello Board. Trello is a free organisation tool which you can access online and via an app. It will allow you to collaborate with your partner so you can both see what’s going on. You can add links, images, notes and comments, set deadlines and you can colour code and label things too. It’s super easy to pick up and will save you a whole heap of stress. Here’s an example of a Trello board for a couple who are wedding planning -

Kaylina Norton

Delegation and team work

You don’t have to do it all alone! You will burnout if you pile yourself up with jobs and don’t ask for help. Haven’t got your RSVPs back yet? Ask your parents to chase people. Need to put together the table plan? Get your wedding party round for cheese and wine and do it together. Don’t know how to dress the venue? Hire a kickass wedding stylist who will do it all for you. You don’t have to carry the weight of organising on your own. In my experience, people love to help because they are so thrilled to be included in your plans.

Remember you’re doing this together. Reward yourselves when big things like booking the venue are ticked off. If you’re getting upset at each other about anything, take a break from planning and do something to blow off steam together.

Don’t do more than you have to

I have had so many couples looking up recommendations for accommodation, flight times from various airports and taxi numbers to help their guests. This is nice, but it takes time, so if you’re running low on that, don’t feel you have to do these things.

Everyone has access to Google these days, and folks tend to organise themselves more than you might think. Older guests might need a helping hand, but you don’t need to go above and beyond for every single person attending your wedding. Do as much as you enjoy doing and then forget the surplus work.

Having fun

Date nights

This is something we could all do more of, I’m sure. When I’m in the midst of a project or find myself busy with balancing work, children, the dreaded laundry pile and sleep - my partner gets shoved down to the bottom of the list.

Spending time together, preferably outside the house, helps us reconnect. A trip to the theatre, a pub quiz, dance class, cooking together - It always makes us feel closer and happier, whatever we do when we make time for us. We just need to remember to put away our phones and be present with one another to make it really worthwhile!

Top tip: We’ve started using The Adventure Challenge - Couples Edition. We scratch off date ideas and photograph what we’ve done to create a book of memories. It’s really great fun and makes a lovely keepsake too. All the date ideas so far have been original and we’ve enjoyed them - I laughed a lot at J making a key lime pie with a blindfold on!

Love and Latitudes

Focus on each other

Sometimes we need a little reminder as to why we are pumping our heart, soul and money into a wedding. However big or small your celebration will be and whether you’re chilled about it or on the brink of a breakdown - remind yourself why you’re getting married. It’s them; That’s all that matters.

Lindsey Newton

The day’s highlights

You can make it through any stress when you focus on the goals. There will be key moments on the day that you can look forward to, and this will help get over any potential bumps in the wedding planning road.

You may or may not have these, but here are some ideas of exciting and happy points to anticipate:

• Your first look at each other on the day

• Walking back up an aisle as a married pair

• Funny and sentimental speeches and toasts from family and friends

• Hitting the dance floor with your best mates

• Going off on honeymoon

In times of worry when you’re planning, know it’ll all be worth it when you get to do the things you both really want to do on the day. Every wedding looks different, and rightfully so. We are all unique, and so are our relationships - and therefore the ways we chose to celebrate them. Now go have fun, lovebirds!

Rachel Leiner

Have you got any tips, questions, worries or comments? Leave me your thoughts and share with anyone who might need to read this!

Should I have a wedding website?

When it comes to inviting guests to your wedding and letting them know about your big day plans, you have so many options. Equally, you have many ways to get them to respond to your invitation, too. More frequently, couples want ways to reduce waste and have flexibility with their wedding planning timeline. In steps the wedding website!

Why have a wedding website?

The most common reason couples opt for a website is that they don’t have all the details of their wedding ironed out yet. Having something online that you can add to and edit means that your guests get the most up-to-date information, and you can take the stress out of having to have everything in place before sending out invitations.

You can add links to hotels, things to do in the area, galleries of images - The opportunities to give your guests helpful information and more of an idea of your plans are endless. You can direct them to the site and they can explore everything in one place. In the past, I’ve had pages on wedding websites which include timelines for the day, videos and music that mean something special to the couple, dress-code examples and introductions to the wedding party.

Wedding websites reduce the amount of paper used, which is always a good thing for the planet. You can have loads more information than paper invites at no extra cost and using no more resources.

And one more thing - Even the scattiest of guests can’t lose a web address like they can a physical invitation, so that’s a handy bonus!

Where can I get a wedding website?

There are plenty of free and subscription-based website templates for you to use. If you’re a web developer, you can of course build your own from scratch. For all the web and graphic designers out there - You can use Wix or Squarespace to create something that works really well across mobile, tablet and desktop devices really quickly and easily.

Most people aren’t either of those, but you still have some options. A quick Google search of ‘wedding websites’ gives you a heap of choice. Keep in mind they will usually have a template in which you can edit the colours - but more often than not, these use lots of traditional florals and calligraphic-style fonts that leave anyone with more alternative tastes wanting. A general rule of thumb is, if it’s free it’s going to be relatively rigid in terms of style options, what you can integrate and how it works on mobiles, tablets and computers.

Of course, I can build you a completely bespoke website that has a custom domain name of your choice, web hosting and a design that you love. I use Squarespace because it’s easy for you to edit the details, it always looks perfect on all devices and it’s fairly quick for me to build. It’s really flexible in terms of what content you can add and it has some great integrations with Google Fonts, Instagram, You Tube and more. It covers all the bases for less than £15 a month, which is great value. There’s a big discount if you pay for the year upfront, too - and pretty much every podcast I’ve ever listened to have a discount code!

Can I have paper invites too?

Almost all of the couples I’ve helped with websites have printed invites too, which include the web address or a QR code*. They set the tone in terms of style and they provide the preliminary details. It allows you to send something out that feels like a formal invitation, but still save paper and offer you flexibility in terms of what you plan and when.

These can be the usual A5 or 5 x 7 postcards, or simply a business card size. Anything you have in mind, we can make it work! The designs for these will flow beautifully from paper to screen, so everything feels consistent and recognisable.

* A QR code is an array of black and white shapes which can be read by a smartphone camera to direct the user to a website. These cost money to host, so factor that in if you want this option.

What should I do about a gift list?

Lots of couples like to have a gift list online, and having a wedding website means you can easily link to these, or even embed them right into your site. A lot of people opt for Prezola, but my top recommendation for wedding gift lists would be Patchwork. You can create bespoke items for guests to purchase, and they give 50% of their fees to fund environmental charities. They also just have really lovely looking templates!

What about RSVPs?

There are a few ways you can get your guests to let you know if they can make it to your wedding. The simplest is via email or a short form on your website. You can prompt them to let you know about allergies, songs for the dance floor and if they want a room in a hotel.

I tend to integrate RSVPify, which allows you to see an overview of responses and guest numbers, and to group and label individuals, customise the design of the form and export all your data to an Excel spreadsheet.

You can also mix and match digital with traditional paper RSVPs. Whatever works best for you!

I’m on a budget but I need help with a wedding website. What can With Bells On! do to help?

You may decide to design and build your own website. This is a good option if you have more time available to you, and are more flexible on how the website looks. We can work together, and I can provide you with assets to use - like a logo, icons and images - to make it feel more consistent with your paper invites and / or wedding day stationery.

I want a wedding website but I don’t want to build and manage it myself. What can I do?

So glad you asked. I can design and build you a website with unlimited pages and any web address you like. It can match perfectly with any paper invites you may have and flow seamlessly into your wedding day aesthetic too. It can have images, video, music, maps and all the information you could possible want to share with your guests. You can log in to manage the site yourself, or you can just email me additions and amendments as they happen and I can do them for you - free of charge.

If this sounds like something you’d like, read more info, check out prices here, or just shoot me a message!

The Mirror Moment: Revisiting my Bridal Dress Experience

It's been a fair few months since we gathered to shoot the photographs. Writing this has been on my to-do list all that time, plaguing me. I’d like to say I put it off because I’ve been busy, but in truth I know I’ve been hiding from it. I felt very raw and exposed on the day those photographs were taken and perhaps I’d reached my limit of vulnerability for a while after that.

I’m 35 years old and my own body feels strange to me, like waking up in someone else’s clothes. It’s never not felt like that. It’s an obstacle that stands in my way, a sort of weapon that’s always working against me. My body, and what I think of as ‘me’, aren’t intertwined; they’re two very separate entities. And physical form aside, it's nigh on impossible not to write about myself in a mean way. I do it with such ease - of course with the age-old notion that if I say it first, then nobody else’s judgements can hurt me. I wonder if everyone does this.

With that emotional backdrop set, it’s easy to see why I spent the year I was engaged buying into all the shredding-for-the-wedding nonsense. I thought that slimming down for a wedding day was the done thing, that I had to lose half of my body to be the perfect bride. I went full-whack, gym-twice-a-day hardcore and weighed out all my food, days in advance. Almost as if I wanted to be utterly unrecognizable once the big day came. I did lose a lot of weight, sure. But I also completely lost perspective; I ignored pleas from loved ones, I missed dates with my fiancé… I was a woman on a warpath, with my eyes on the prize and everything else was just noise. I was driven by the relentless ‘truth’ I’d created for myself - How on earth could I be worthy of being a bride, and then a wife, when I looked like that? 

In my consistent self-loathing, I actively chose to deny myself experiences that I felt I was not worthy of having. The biggest one, I suppose, was the dress-fitting. I was appalled at the idea that I’d have to squeeze myself into outfits and parade around in front of people, looking atrocious and feeling disgusting. For me, wedding dresses were a certain size and I had to change to fit them. So I just didn’t go to a bridal boutique at all, and ignored the feeling that deep down, I really wanted to.

“Finding the dress and wearing it on your wedding are two equally important dreams.”

- GABRIELLE, SHOOT PRODUCER

I’ve come to accept - albeit reluctantly - that the dresses were there to serve me, and not the other way round. I now have three young children who shadow my every move. I might not have the strength or compassion to be kind to myself but it’s imperative to teach self-love to my kids, and hard as it might be, that starts with setting an example.

I design invites for couples who are getting married, and through my proximity to them I can still feel that occasional loss of perspective and the weight of self-judgment leading up to a wedding day. This is unacceptable - and our psyches aren’t the only thing to blame. The industry is geared up to represent the thin, white, able-bodied, cisgender bride and everything else is often fringe to the point of alternative. I knew that if I was going to be a cheerleader of self-acceptance - whether to my children, engaged couples or anyone else - I needed to be brave and allow myself to experience what I denied myself years ago.

A group of fellow wedding suppliers got together and we created a pop-up bridal studio. In our self-made safe space, well-fitting gowns were important, but equally so were the cakes, biscuits, banners and postcards of affirmations. Gabrielle and Shannen from With Pride Weddings decorated the venue with Mia Sylvia’s beautiful linens, and this gave the space a soft, warm, welcoming feel. In this place I was able to eat, explore the fabrics and designs of the dresses and take my time to process the feelings that came up along the way.

The potentially uncomfortable part - but the most integral to sharing this idea with others - was to let a group of people document it. This part made me feel sick, like taking that original fear of trying on dresses from years ago and super-charging it. Our collective hope was that it would heal some self-inflicted wounds along the way, for all of us. And it did; In fact we all shared war stories about times we’ve treated ourselves unkindly and avoided experiences because we felt we weren’t worthy of better. This supportive soundtrack carried us through the day and bolstered us all as a team.

Back when I got married, I wore some baby blue Converse. Retrospectively, I suppose this was my one act of feeling truly comfortable, free and like myself on my wedding day. Madeleine from Bee and Bones took my original shoes and painted a bespoke design on them for the shoot, taking so much time and care to get it right and make them truly representative of me and my tastes. This was probably the most emotional part of the day, being presented with these. The shoes said to me, ‘It’s ok to celebrate who you are, and not just as a quiet nod’. I felt like they elevated my original little rebellion of self-love into a big sense of pride.

Everyone involved supplied the tools I needed to support me through the day. Body-positive biscuits from Coy Biscuit, affirmation sashes and banners from Oh Squirrel, and the natural, light-touch hair and make up by Flaming Bride all armed me with a steeliness I don’t usually have. I was surrounded by this ‘you can do it’ atmosphere, and I felt like if I couldn’t try those dresses on for me, then at least maybe I could do it for them.

The photos and footage of this day are still hard for me to look at - partly because I’m so vulnerable in them and partly because the love and support I was shown by the rest of the team made my negativity seem so pointless and unnecessary - I felt silly worrying so much. Every person on that team had their own tale to tell. Whether it was why they don’t wear shorts in public, or how they do their make up, or talk about themselves; It really hit home how special and important it was to collectively experience this purposeful and radical act of self-acceptance, self respect and self-love.

Check out the full film by Leesha Williams here on Way Out Wedding.

The amazing team behind the shoot -

Production - New Romantics Productions • @NewRomanticsProductions 
Photography -  Lisa Jane Photography • @lisajanephoto 
Film -  Leesha Williams Photography • @leeshawilliamsphotoandfilm 
Styling - With Pride Weddings • @WithPrideWeddings 
Hair and Makeup - Flaming Bride • @flaming_bride
Bespoke painted shoes -  Bee and Bones Design • @beeandbonesdesign
Stationery - With Bells On! • @with_bells_on_invites 
Model - Carly • @carlyd_s
Venue - The Canary Shed • @thecanaryshed 
Linens - Mia Sylvia • @miasylviaa 
Cake - Süss Cake Studio • @susscakestudio 
Biscuits - Coy Biscuit • @coybiscuit 
Sash, ribbons and decor - Oh Squirrel • @oh_squirrel 
Headbands -  Francis & Louise • @francislouiseuk 

Bridal styles provided by -
Heart Aflutter Bridal • @heart_aflutter
Crazy In Love Bridal • @crazyinlovebridal
Paper To Lace • @papertolacebridal 

Accessories provided by -
Claude Bridal • @claude_bridal_studio
Love Lane Bridal • @lovelanebridal
Paper To Lace • @papertolacebridal 

Should my wedding day stationery match my invitations?

Hey! How’s wedding planning going?

I often get emails from couples who have posted their save-the-dates and invitations, and then come across me and my stationery much closer to their wedding day. The question that usually follows is, ‘How much should my wedding day stationery match what we’ve already sent out?’ Well, let’s break it down.

The benefit of consistency

Whether we’re talking about a suite of wedding stationery, a chain of donut shops, a medical setting or recognising your favourite tea bags on a supermarket shelf - the one thing these all need to have in common is a consistent visual brand.

It’s important for these businesses and products to stand out from the crowd - not only to demonstrate their individuality in the market (or in the case of stationery, to represent your individuality as a couple), but also build touch points which are recognisable. This helps the user - be that a hospital patient, a tea-lover or a wedding guest - anticipate and understand the things which belong together. This can help them navigate choices, ideas and even places - so that they feel safe, comfortable and well-catered for.

Doughnut Time use a signature mint green and their navy logo throughout their touchpoints to keep things recognisable.

The branding is carried through to packaging, staff t-shirts and store fronts.

They keep a visual consistency with lighting and their branded mint green.

The visual style and the tone of voice used in your wedding invites sets the atmosphere for the day, ahead of time. You might have chosen high-contrast monochrome and formal wording, or be at the other end of the spectrum with a neon palette and a text-to-RSVP. Carrying this developed tone through to your day allows your guests to anticipate the types of celebrations you’re throwing. This might be relevant to what they choose to wear, what gift they bring, or even how much booze they plan to drink (and therefore how they get home).

The benefit of consistency could not be anymore poignant than when talking about signage. If you have a large or multi-room venue, or if guests will have to walk between places, then signage to point out directions and welcome them are really super helpful. When I was studying graphic design, we were told this story by a mentor on the importance of clear and consistent messaging. He said there was once a major incident where a fire broke out at an airport, and passengers were running round, all panicking, looking for the way out. Sadly the signage was so unclear and confusing, that people didn’t know what to look for and some got trapped.

I’m not telling you this to frighten you - the only fire at your day will be on the dancefloor, am I right?! 😉 But this tale shows the need, in some circumstances, for consistency, (and in all cases really) clarity and ease-of-use. If your guests have seen your invites, colours, fonts - then they can anticipate the aesthetic for the day and it can help them way-find and plan.

Suzi and Bobbie’s wedding invitations ahead of their wedding day

Their welcome sign on the wedding day was recognisable to guests who had received their invites.

The benefit of inconsistency

On the flipside, there are some pros to having something completely fresh on your wedding day. I would say though, that the level of formality should remain the same - so the anticipation and expectations of the type of event you’re throwing won’t be jarring to guests. You don’t want people expecting the Ritz if they need wellies in a field.

In this (pretty sad) age of planning, re-planning and waiting for weddings whilst we shift out of the pandemic, I’ve had more than a few couples who have lost their wedding-planning lustre. They’re actively looking to move on from old plans, which have made them frustrated and sad, and are re-invigorated with excitement at the thought of something new.

I’ve also worked with couples who want their day to be filled with surprises for their guests, so they keep things a bit simpler in their invites and then explode their actual wedding day with colour, sequins, glitter and live music.

There are, of course, also couples who are new to design as a process and don’t know about the benefits of keeping things similar across the board. I like to think that I’m not just a ‘point, click, buy’ type of business, and that my clients can ask me for help and guidance. Not everyone - in fact very few people - have experience directing a creative team, giving visual feedback or making design decisions. I am always here to help, suggest, recommend and guide anyone who isn’t quite sure.

Lastly, the vibe can be consistent, but if another designer did your invites and now you want me to make stationery for your day to exactly match, I won’t be able to do this. More on that in the next section!

Design integrity and originality

The wedding industry is so friendly - full of the most open, warm, collaborative people. When I can’t work with a couple because I’m booked up, or my style isn’t quite right - I’ll always recommend some of my fellow stationers who will be a better fit. It’s not competitive, we all help and support each other. This is my first reason for not replicating another designer’s work. It’s their baby, they livelihood, their creative property - and so I won’t for any reason copy it, just as I wouldn’t expect them to copy my work. I can definitely follow a set tone - so if the previous designer did something tropical, I can continue that on - but I would never try to hunt down the same fonts and assets.

Secondly, it’s a legal matter. Morals and integrity aside, if I plagiarised someone else’s’ intellectual property then I’d be in big trouble. And no one wants that kinda drama, you know?

This is relevant to our original question of consistency because I will always work with couples who understand this and are happy to fuse their previous aesthetic with my style, remembering that ‘consistency’ doesn’t mean ‘exact match’.

What can you replicate, Carly?

So glad you asked. No one owns colours (although I’m sure it’s not long until Elon Musk tries), so I can always use the colour palette from your invites, if they were designed elsewhere. Also, not to brag, but I have a pretty good knowledge of typography, so I can find you fonts which were created in the same era and keep a consistent vibe with what you had before. I can also create and source you new assets that aren’t a direct copy, but are recognisable as the ‘brand’ you’ve already started to build.

The whole shebang (or a mini-shebang - whatever works!)

Obvs it’s ideal if you find me early in your wedding-planning journey, as I can dream up and design a whole suite of stationery for you two, from start to finish. It’s great getting to know couples and their plans, and working together to create something they love.

If however you’ve stumbled upon me with a few months to go until you get wed, and then just can’t LIVE without my stationery at your wedding (ah, imagine! 🤣) - then it’s not too late to work together on something that merges the style of your invites with something fresh, and feels like you. Just get in touch!

Should I get bespoke wedding invitations?

You might have looked around and seen that you can get customisable wedding stationery and bespoke stationery. Life is busy enough with balancing all the wedding planning, so let me break it down for you so it’s easy to make a decision on which option is best for you two and your wedding!

What is bespoke wedding stationery?

Going bespoke means that every element of your wedding stationery suite - that’s save-the-dates, invites, orders of service, signage, table plans, menus, place cards - is unique to you. It’s designed and crafted from the ground up. You can talk with your stationery designer about the look you’re going for on your wedding day. This can be a colour scheme, a theme or just an atmosphere. You might be working with a stylist or planner who has created you a wedding mood board or you might be pulling together your own ideas, through something like Pinterest. If you need help on how to choose a style for your wedding, check this out.

Your stationery designer will chat with you about your vision, and then after a few weeks will be able to present you with several ideas to get the ball rolling. You collaborate to define the elements you like and those that you don’t, and then they can refine it all until it’s perfect. This is usually done digitally, with them sending you designs to look at on screen. They may also send you paper samples or even printed ‘proofs’ of a design so you can check if you’re happy to go ahead with printing the whole bunch.

You can also discuss bespoke finishes. They might include special inks, like florescent spot inks or specific Pantone colours. It might be foiling or embossing. You can also have ribbons, tassels and fringing and opt to have the paper ‘die-cut’ to a special shape. Then, there’s what sort of paper you prefer, which can include colour, weight (thickness) of the paper stock and it’s texture, too.

Example of florescent inks by KT McCrossan

Example of place cards ‘die-cut’ into semicircles, with a tassel to finish the look.

Example of embossing and debossing

Example of foiling via Awesome Merch

What is customisable wedding stationery?

Customisable stationery is a suite of all the invites, signage and place cards listed above that has already been designed, but you get to change the colours to make it yours. Each stationer will have a different way of working but the basics are - you choose your fave design of their collection, you tell them your colours, details and finishes and they create your dream stationery.

It’s a more economic option than bespoke as you don’t pay the premium for having something completely unique (where the cost covers more of the designer’s time). Don’t worry though - it won’t feel generic or mainstream! You can really see a massive difference in style between two colourways in the same design.

Here are a few examples of how colour can change up a suite -

Time After Time in 2 colour ways: One playful and bright and one retro pastels -

Touch The Sky in 2 colour ways: One funky 70s and the other in smart monochrome -

Castaways and Lovers in 2 colour ways: One with a boho desert vibe, the other bright and tropical -

You can check out all 5 designs in my customisable collection here!

What’s the process if I choose bespoke wedding stationery?

You’ll share your visual inspiration with your stationer. It might be a series of images, a movie you love, a colour palette or other stationery you’ve seen. I find it’s really useful to use Pinterest to collate it all together, plus it’s easy to share with your stationer (and florist, cake baker and anyone else who needs to see it!)

Example of a Pinterest board for a retro-inspired modern wedding

I personally then come up with 3 ideas based on the inspiration so we can use them as a springboard for tightening up the design. It usually takes me 1-2 weeks to get this over to a couple. Other stationers will work in different ways with varying timelines, so make sure you’re clear on when to expect things to look at.

When you and your partner are happy with the design, you choose papers and finishes and it gets printed, crafted and posted to you!

How much does bespoke wedding stationery cost?

This can vary based on your chosen specific papers, finishes and the quantity of items you’d like and which stationer you use. I charge a flat fee for a bespoke design, which is currently £300.00 (January 2022). This is based on an hourly fee of £30.00 based on my 12 years of experience as a graphic designer and the rough estimate that bespoke work takes about 10 hours.

I then charge per item - so the more invites/menus/place cards you want, the more it is. These are usually a few pounds each as standard, and can cost more if you add foils, tassels and other special finishes, as the materials are more expensive and take extra time and care to get right.

When you enquire with me, I’ll create you a quote, regardless of whether you choose customisable or bespoke designs. That way you’ll be clear on costs and stick to your budget!

Reasons to choose customisable wedding stationery

It’s quicker

It will take longer to research, ideate, design, print and craft bespoke work. If you’ve got a short engagement, can’t bear to wait or have found me later in your planning journey, then it’s better to go with customisable. This can be designed, printed and posted within 3 weeks. Bespoke work can take up to 5 or 6 weeks.

It’s less expensive

If a tight budget - or just wanting to spend your money on other wedding elements - is a big concern for you, then customisable might be the way to go. I will say there’s always a way to make bespoke affordable, for example by having fewer elements, but if you want the full shebang of a stationery suite, go customisable. The flat fee for my design time here is £150 as it takes about 5 hours.

Reasons to choose bespoke wedding stationery

It’s unique and sentimental

When I design something for you two, it’s my mission to capture the vibe of your wedding AND something that’s special to you two. It will never get reused or repurposed for anyone else - it’s something just for you. It can be as slick or wild as you like and you have full creative freedom and control.

It’s more fun

I promise that working with me as your personal graphic designer will be easy, fun and enjoyable. It’s my role to get you to where you want to be but also to guide and advise you when you’re not sure or when I can see another option will make things even better. You’re not clicking a ‘Buy’ button and waiting to see what it’s like when it turns up. It’s collaborative, flexible and creative, with you two at the centre!

It’s up to you which route you take. If you’re still unsure, want to order or you want to discuss the option of doing a semi-bespoke design based on my collection, just get in touch! Carly x

Should I do DIY wedding invitations?

You might be thinking of making your own wedding invites, baking your own cake or sewing your own outfit for your wedding. I have a sneaky hunch that your main reason for doing this will either be to save some money or to have some sort of creative control over how things look.

When I got married I made a whole bunch of retro-style cushions for a chill out space (I talk about that more here) so I have definitely been in those shoes! I’m gonna run through the pros and cons of doing a DIY wedding and you can then be well-informed to decide if it’s the route for you!

The benefits

Saving money

This has to be the number one driver I hear for people wanting to create their own wedding stationery. There are loads of resources for inspiration, like Pinterest, and shops stocked with tools and materials. The price for plain cards, envelopes, ribbon and twine will seem tempting - as long as you don’t factor in your time!

It can also be fun popping along to Hobbycraft or a similar store and choosing bits to get crafty with. My advice here would be to plan both the style and your budget ahead of going to arts and craft outlets, otherwise you might find you spend more than you’d like! Believe me, it’s hard to resist the many types of washi tape, eco glitter and coloured papers when it’s all tantalisingly close!

Image and product by Sweet Pea Studio

Image and product by Oak and Ivory

Creative control

Another top reason for wanting to DIY your wedding is that you get to have your hands on every piece of it. You and your partner can make your vision come to life by literally crafting it all from the ground up. As a self-confessed lover of being in charge, I totally get that.

For fun!

If you are crafty and creative, or if you are handy with InDesign, Illustrator, Photoshop and the like, then getting down to designing on your own wedding stationery suite can be REALLY enjoyable. It can be special too - something that you and your partner or wedding party get to do together. My tips here would be to really do your research on what elements you need and make sure you’re aware of preparing for print, colour modes and available finishes and techniques.

Reusing and recycling

You might be trying to have a more eco-conscious wedding - and this is commendable! There may be ways you can reuse paper and other materials to create your wedding stationery or recycle and upcycle details such a furniture, wedding favours and outfits. This is a great idea, not only for planet Earth but it might also make for a really unique aesthetic (as long as that’s what you’re into!).

Be aware though, that by not adequately planning ahead, buying everything new from craft stores and making invitations, you might actually be creating waste, so make sure you get the balance right.

by Swell Anchor Studio

by Folksy

The drawbacks

Extra work and stress

Once again with the cushions (and the place cards, and the favours, and the post-ceremony biscuits) at my own wedding… I look back and think, ‘Did I really need to make them all myself?!’. I was STRESSED and frankly, although I have the graphic design string to my bow, sewing and baking are not strengths of mine. Things ended up with that sort of unskilled, ‘made with love’ look - except I didn’t love it at all, the making or the output. Every time I sat down to sew a new retro cushion cover, I regretted not just buying or renting some, or ditching the whole idea all together. There was a LOT of swearing!

Rustic aesthetic

You might want this - in which case it certainly isn’t a drawback at all! However, if you’re looking for a fresh, modern style but you don’t personally have (or have the time, will and patience to gain) the skills to make it happen, then it’ll be VERY hard. There are places online, like Etsy, where you can buy templates to fill in and print yourself, which can at least lend a design you absolutely love. The stress here is being able to print and finish it to a high standard.

Photo by Jen Marino

Photo by Jen Marino

It might not save you money

If you get going on your DIY stationery and then later decide it’s too much work or you’re not getting the desired effect, you might well end up employing someone to do it for you anyway. This wouldn’t be ideal, and it creates extra wastage and money spent. I’d say only DIY if you’re happy and have the confidence to see it through!

Reasons to employ someone to do it for you

Creative control without the stress

A good supplier will be able to balance what you want with what you didn’t even know you wanted. It’s their job to guide you, advise you and surprise you - to make you fall in love with their products and services. You will still be at the helm, but they’ll be your co-pilot. They’ll have a wealth of knowledge and experience that’ll take the worry out of the process, whilst keeping you in charge.

Professional finish

Whether it’s a florist, a baker, a seamstress or a stationery designer - the suppliers you choose will have a whole portfolio of examples to show you the quality of their end product. Having spent many hours toiling away at their specific craft, they’ll be able to offer a finesse that might be harder to achieve if you try to do it yourself.

Photo by India Dobson, flowers by My Lady Garden

Bespoke or customisable

Each supplier will also be able to offer you a service that is completely unique to you. This might be in the form of bespoke items, or heavily customised from something they already have. They’ll be able to guide you based on your budget and preferred style.

Speed

Wedding suppliers have the tools and materials ready to get going and can deliver your products in a speedier fashion than you might be able to get it done yourself. They’ll also have the knowledge and relationships with other suppliers to pull elements together - such a specific printers or flower wholesale vendors.

Storage

Often vendors have workspaces and areas to store your products to make sure they’re at their best. This could be the physical space to cut and fold your stationery, or climate-controlled rooms for keeping flowers of cakes super fresh.

Image of Jenny Cookies by Kelly Clare Photography

Image from Lucy Can’t Dance

Conclusion

You might have written off buying services and products because of your budget, but I would say where there’s a will, there’s a way. You don’t have to have lots of everything - You could have a small centrepiece cake that you get made professionally, surrounded by little homemade fairy cakes. You could find a charity shop outfit but have it altered by a seamstress to make it fit you perfectly. You could get a graphic designer to create you a custom stamp, but then use card blanks and ink pads to make the physical items at home yourself. There are methods of combining DIY and reusing materials with employing help that can combine to make your day perfect for you.

As with all wedding planning - if you WANT to make your own wedding stationery/cake/outfit etc because it’ll be fun, then do. If you’re not sure about it or it sounds stressful, then ask for help! Send me a message if you want extra advise - I’m always happy to answer your questions! Carly x

Tips to guarantee your guests LOVE your wedding day!

Woah, its been a while! I don’t know about you but I feel like the end of the year has snuck up on me! Here we are, wrapping up 2021, (some of us drinking Lebkuchen-flavour booze as we type) and I thought I’d collate some top tips for those of you planning your big day. And today, the category is: Making sure your guests have the BEST time at your wedding. Let’s jump in!

Make sure everyone is comfortable

Accessibility

It’s essential that everyone can get to, from and around your wedding. If you know you have guests with mobility issues, you can plan accordingly by choosing a venue which is step-free, has wide doorways, lifts and flat, level flooring. It may well be that you have guests who are blind, deaf or have learning difficulties, and need some extra assistance on the day, which may include bringing a carer along with them. Plan this in advance and brief and delegate to bridesmaids, groomsmen, cousins and the gang to make sure everyone feels welcome, respected and catered for.

You may have guests with epilepsy or autism who find flashing lights and loud music very triggering. You don’t have to get rid of these elements of your day. It might be as simple as politely warning these guests ahead of time so that they can make arrangements for themselves.

Children and older guests

If you decide to invite little ones to your day - and I’m saying this as a mum of two - their parents want just two things: For them to be safe, and to be happy. Create a clean, safe space for them to eat, play and dance. They often want to be involved with the celebration, but on their own terms! If it’s important to have moments of quiet, for example during your ceremony, ensure there’s a place their parents can take them for a while.

Grandparents and other older guests will need comfortable seating (you could reserve them a chair) and possibly some help to get around the venue. On our wedding day, we buddied up ours with groomsmen who could lend a helping hand and charm the elders with a listening ear!

If your venue has a body of water or a sharp drop, make sure people are aware so that they can take precautions, especially with kids, older guests and those with mobility needs!

Dietary requirements and preferences

Most couples take note of allergies, preferences and religious requirements in terms of food on the RSVP. Your venue should be a pro at catering for all needs and choices and making sure people get what they ordered! If you’re nervous, make sure their place card notes their menu choice, or that banquet-style food is clearly labelled. This not only lets the servers know where each dish is going but make each guest feel personally welcomed.

Non-drinkers

Not everyone likes to get wrecked, you know?! I once went to a wedding when I was pregnant and the all welcome drinks were alcoholic, and I had to buy myself an apple juice. This put my nose out of joint a bit! There are many reasons why someone might choose not to drink alcohol and it’s important that they still feel part of the party. Make sure to provide soft drink options (even better if there’s a virgin cocktail choice!) - and don’t forget water for everyone. Stay hydrated, people!

Weather

The last thing you want is for everyone to be freezing their bits off in a barn because they didn’t have fair warning to bring a jumper! You can never predict the weather in the UK (and elsewhere, to be fair), so make sure everyone is comfy and happy by providing (or telling them in advance to bring) the necessary items if cold, rain, snow or mud are big factors in the day!

Signposting

It’s important that guests don’t feel lost and unsure about timings, where things are or where they should be during the day. Providing an order of the day, signs that point to the bar or toilets and having a Master of Ceremonies to herd everyone are really helpful! And hey - the signage can even match your wedding stationery, bringing it all together to make it not only look beautiful, but recognisable and helpful.

Make it personal

Your wedding suppliers

You have an opportunity whilst planning your wedding to choose suppliers whose values align with yours. Whether it’s a celebrant, florist, cake-maker - whoever; You can find vendors who are professional, positive and mindful of your needs and - importantly - those of your guests. Employing people like this will ensure everyone has the best time.

Cohesive style and design

You can pave the foundations for your day’s aesthetics with carefully chosen wedding stationery, and then seamlessly integrate it into everything your guests see and interact with on the day. They’ll associate this style with you two, they’ll recognise it, and they’ll affiliate themselves with it. It just means they feel like they’re in an exclusive little club with you, on your special day.

Make it meaningful

It’s about you two

Your wedding day is just that - YOURS. You two aren’t out-of-the-box, repeatable or cookie-cutter, so your day shouldn’t be either. Little touches around the venue - nods to where you met, your first date, your hobbies and holidays…They all create an atmosphere and a feeling that the guests have been let into something really intimate and special, even if you have a huge wedding.

Thanking those who support you

Nothing - NOTHING! - gives me a buzz like being mentioned in a wedding speech. And yes, I know, you can’t mention every guest, but the ones who have really helped you, supported you, loved you, held you up when you’re down, advised you, introduced you…Make sure they know how special they are!

Remembering those who can’t be with you

We had wedding photos from all our sets of grandparents on display. It was a lovely way to pay our respects to them and make them part of the day. However you do it, whether its raising a toast, wearing something that belonged to them, or talking about them in your speech, it’s sentimental and heart-warming to share these stories.

Make it fun!

Entertainment and atmosphere

As well as any entertainment you put on for your guests to enjoy, you can also include them in the activities. You can leave a space on the RSVP card for song requests, so each guest gets their fave song played, or you could display photos of each guest with you both. All of these little ideas make everyone feel involved and valued.

Spend time with your guests

Work that floor! Everyone wants a piece (and a picture with) the couple, so make sure you thank them for their time, gifts and let them know you’re happy to see them!

Here’s looking at you, kid!

The number one thing - if YOU’RE having fun, and look stress-free, glowingly happy and loved up, then your guests will get on board. It’s wonderful to be able to throw a celebration and you hope that everyone has a great time. In the end though, it’s your day, so make sure you two have a blast and the rest will surely follow!

Image credit at top: Lorin Kelly Photography

Top tips for a stress-free wedding

I know what it’s like to be swallowed whole by the wedding-planning-beast and lose all perspective on life. I’ve been there (and seen a few friends lost in that unforgiving sea for a while too!) So I’m here to tell you firstly, you’re going to be alright and your wedding will be GREAT, and secondly there are a few little things you can do to make everything run smoothly, both whilst planning and on the day itself. Read on if the only shit you want to be losing regarding your wedding is on the dancefloor! 😆🕺💃

The experiences I’ve had and witnessed have shown there are a few key areas that frazzle people the most. These are: Money, self-confidence, losing sight of the why and those cheeky-but-tear-inducing last-minute changes. Let me help by breaking each one down and giving you my top tips!

Money

Have a budget (and stick to it!)

Whether or not you’re one of those proper adults with a spreadsheet or, like me, it’s a figure and a list that whittles down over time with key things to buy, it’s important you keep your eye on the ball. I’d say in the early days of planning, when you’re going for the big hitters like the venue, this is simple. When you have to really watch yourself is that last two months.

You will not BELIEVE how many times I’ve seen people suddenly splurge on last-minute stands and frames for tables, or panic-buy metres of bunting in various colours, “just in case”. I myself nearly spent £120 I didn’t have on pairs of trainers for the bridesmaids, for the hypothetical eventuality that their heels would be abandoned under a table somewhere. Luckily, they knew me well enough to reel me in before I clicked that buy button!

Save for the things that matter

There will be some things that really matter to you. It might be a ticket for your best friend to fly back home or the dress you’ve always wanted… My advice here is put it into your budget and build around it. There’s a difference between being thrifty and skimping on what you really want, and the latter will leave you feeling disappointed. Doing that might even mean you end up buying more than once, blowing your budget AND making you feel guilty, and that’s the last thing you need. Do your research, work out what you can afford, and don’t leave behind the few keys things that will make the day feel special to you.

Don’t DIY unless you’re good at it or really love it

I had this vision for my retro-styled wedding day that included what I was calling, “The Living Room”. I wanted people (especially the elders) to have spot to chill in, and this included floor lamps, rugs and big squidgy sofas that, in my mind at least, bridged the aesthetic of Mad Men with the comforting vibe of the Gryffindor common room.

Aaaanyway, I spent goodness-knows-how-many hours sewing and knitting these little cushions. It was cute, but what a waste of time. I didn’t enjoy it, I was so stressed about it, and the quality was, let’s say, whimsical at best. If craft is your thing - do it, and have fun with it. If you think you’re saving a few pennies by doing it yourself at the expense of your mental health, then scrap it, or ask for help, or bite the bullet and pay for someone to do it well.

Photo by Maria Mack Photography

Self-confidence

Do not diet

You are PERFECT. Please know this. Get an outfit that fits and compliments your shape as you are, not some way you think you should be. Speaking from a place of deep regret, I was obsessed with being thin on my wedding day. Not with seeing him at the end of the aisle, not thinking about the day of support and love with my friends and family - just with looking thin in a white dress. It’s really sad - please don’t let this be your experience.

I’ve often thought about going to a wedding dress shop now, a fair few sizes bigger than I was on my wedding day (and having proudly grown two babies since then, too) and seeing what fits my actual-day-to-day, real-life body. I think this would be a healing moment!

Photo by Rue Kruger

Photo by Big Fashion Guy

Image via Dulyanihaa

Photo by Emma Case

Meditate

Have you used Headspace? It’s great for helping you sleep, focus and calm down, especially if you’ve never meditated before. You don’t need an app, but it’s just one that I think helps. They have these SOS meditations for moments you feel like you’re in crisis; If you find yourself getting flustered, these are really handy. Any type of self-care will do the trick to alleviate the overwhelm, but I say meditation specifically because pesky, panicky thoughts can still dominate when you’re, say, getting a manicure or taking a bath, but meditation slows your brain down so you’re actually getting that moment of peace.

Spend time together

Nothing and no-one makes me feel more beautiful, confident, happy and loved than the man I married. I bet you can say the same about your partner. I would have been a whole lot less stressed when we were wedding-planning if I’d focussed more on him than the gym and calorie-counting! That leads us nicely to the next section…

Photo by The Chamberlins Wedding Photography

Losing sight of the why

Just in case you’re too deep in it and have already lost perspective 😂 - Remember your ‘why’ - it’s THEM. Your forever person. The wedding is just the bridge to your life-long marriage, that’s the part that counts. But you know that!

Both take part in the decisions and planning

This is a day to celebrate both of you and what you share. All too often there’s one person who is taking charge of the plans and the other who follows. Make sure there’s space for everyone’ ideas and that you both put in some of the graft, too.

One tip to make it feel like you’re planning together is only inviting people you both know and love to the wedding. You really don’t need to be doing intros with people you’ve never met when you already have a room of family and friends to host. If you or your partner haven’t met someone on the guest list (and it’s not like an aunt who lives abroad or something), then ask yourself why - do they really need to be part of your intimate day?

Make time for dates (with no wedding talk)

The wedding planning chat can really take over every conversation if you let it, because people love ask about your plans. Make sure you two do things that aren’t just about the wedding. We love crazy golf dates and cocktails in this house!

Photo by Emma Hill Film and Photography

Schedule time together on the day

Just after our ceremony, our guests boarded a double-decker bus to the reception and we climbed giddily into a white cab to follow behind. As we cracked into our mini bottles of booze, we laughed and talked about how the morning had been, how nervous we both were and how glad we were to see each other. It was a really wonderful window of time to just catch our breath before the party started.

Last-minute changes

Future-proof your wedding day stationery

I’ve previously been unfair about escort cards, always preferring a table plan in the past. However - working with couples during the easing of lockdown and government rules throughout the pandemic has shown the need to be super flexible when it comes to wedding day stationery. I mean, this is always the case - someone drops out and tables need to be re-arranged - but no one wants to be printing multiple plans or crossing people out and handwriting names the morning of.

My biggest tip here: Print your place names and table names/numbers twice. One lot goes on the actual dining tables. The other ones are placed on a table at the entrance to the dining space. Pop the table names/numbers along the top of the table and the corresponding guests’ name cards underneath in a row. This means you can rearrange who sits where without ever having to re-print anything.

Photo by Gina & Ryan of stationery by The Paper Mint Press

Calligraphy cards by You Had Me At Hello

Book an on-the-day coordinator

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: These people are angels with clipboards whose sole goal in life is to make your day run seamlessly. Don’t hesitate - just do it. My faves are Zuza from WholeLottaLove Weddings (she’s an amazing stylist too), Laura from Devine Bride and Kate from Jump The Broom. They’re all friendly, ultra-organised and unbelievably hard-working. Check ‘em out.

Let go (and laugh)

I catastrophised a million scenarios that never happened, but there were things that went wrong on my wedding day that I ever imagined.

A few years into dating my husband-to-be, we went to visit his family for the weekend, and ended up driving with his parents and the dogs to the Peak District in their old camper van. We had such an amazing day - we visited the Blue John caves, walked the hills, and ate real Bakewell puddings - from Bakewell - with cups of tea from the whistling kettle, cosy inside the van whilst the rain tapped on the roof.

On our wedding day, his mum arranged to have Bakewell puddings delivered from the very same bakery as the dessert, and this was very kind and sentimental to us. We didn’t know but through a miscommunication, our venue had placed these out on show for the guests when they arrived, and by the time we turned up in that white cab, my aunt and two of our mates had shovelled a few down already! Honestly I was livid when I saw the flake of pastry on someone’s chin, knowing we now didn’t have a dessert to serve - but if I could just shake my past self now and show her how funny it is, I would!

I hope some of these things have helped - even just to offer some light relief. I hope your planning is stress-free and you’re having a lot of fun doing it. If not - take a day off and come back to it after a break! If you need wedding planning advice, tips or just have a question, as always get in touch. I’d be happy to help! Carly x

Image credit: Top photo of couple with eyes closed is by AnaMata Photo

NO DANCING?! 10 fun ideas for your wedding reception that don't involve a dancefloor

This article was originally written during the Covid-19 pandemic, and was catered towards couples who were getting married when there were still a lot of rules around socialising, social-distancing and a restricted guest count. It’s framed with this in mind, but the ideas all still stand regardless of Covid. You might not want a dancefloor, not have room or just want to break free of expectation - all of these are valid and your wedding day should just be about how you want to celebrate. I hope these ideas help and inspire you to do it your way!

---

Restrictions on weddings are finally lifting and we are all raring to celebrate safely together again. You might be really disappointed that after waiting all this time, you’re not allowed to even sing and dance at your wedding reception - and rightly so. But before we let ol’ BoJo dampen our spirits, let’s take a look at some alternative, Covid-rule-compliant entertainment that your guests can throw themselves into.

It’s worth noting before we kick off - Everyone coming to your wedding is:

• So excited, happy and grateful to be part of your day, especially after they know how you’ve waited, booked-rebooked, stressed and worried;

• Not there to judge you;

• Supportive of you;

• Wants to have a good time and will go with the flow.

Please don’t pile pressure on yourself or stress over what other people will think and do. My personal experience showed me that everything you could catastrophise in your mind whilst planning - yeah, it doesn’t happen. People want to support you and are going to be keen on rolling their sleeves up and mucking in. Besides, dancefloors aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, and they do not the party maketh! Ours was actually empty a lot of time - not close enough to the bar for some of our guests!

With that in mind, what can you do at your wedding reception if you’re not allowed to dance?

1 Video of your first dance

Okay, so public group dancing hasn’t got the green light, but there’s no ban on you two dancing in your own kitchen. Set up your fairy lights, prop up your smartphone, play your song and dance. Then at the reception, play the video on a big screen or even get your wedding party to batch-text it to people to watch at the time you would have danced. It’ll be a cute momento for guests and could even include a thank-you message in it too.

Photo by Sarah Brookhart

2 Pub quiz

During lockdown, quizzes via video chat took off in a big way, eh?! It wasn’t just the devout pub quiz team either - seemingly everyone had a go, however Zoom-phobic they might have felt! It’s easy to plan in advance, there’s loads of material online so you don’t have to start from scratch. You can add more of a personal spin with questions about where the couple met and things about their relationship. Try to strike the balance between sentimental and funny, just as you would with the speeches.

3 Pimp your speech

Speaking of which - there’s probably a little extra space for these to be a more elaborate source of entertainment, should you wish. I get it - standing up in front of a whole bunch of people to perform is some people’s idea of hell on earth. However, if you have a groomsman who does a bit of stand up, an aunt who puts together one hell of a slideshow or even a beatboxing bridesmaid - now’s the time to call in some favours! These could end up being some of the most memorable, personal and fun elements of the wedding if you have people in your wedding party who are up for it.

Image by Rawpixel on Shutterstock

Photo by Shari + Mike

4 Build-your-own-cocktail bar

You all knew that at some point this list would turn to booze, right?! Never fear - it could include virgin options too. Your venue might be able to help you here, so ask them if they have a mixologist or even someone who can flair - that’s always a great show when done well! Your bartender could mix up some base cocktails, like gin and tonic or prosecco, and your guests could add fruits, syrups, botanical garnishes and - lest we forget - cocktail umbrellas!

Photo by Natalie J Weddings

5 Photobooth

Okay, so you’ll need to be able to sanitize props in between uses and socially distance. Hang or prop a backdrop somewhere, get your guests to pose and hey presto - it’s a photobooth! You could even include some tape measures or metre rulers as a cheeky nod to the rules. It’s easy to send round a Dropbox link or have an open Facebook album if you’d like people to share their snaps after the day.

by NeonWorldCustom

6 Treasure hunt

Whether it’s Easter eggs or The Crystal Maze - hunts are FUN. You can also plan this and set it up ahead of time so it’s zero stress. You could hide pictures of you as a couple, miniature bottles of booze (unless there are kids around), sweets, bar tokens… Get creative and ask your wedding party to help out too.

7 Lawn and fairground games

Bowls, giant chess, ring toss, jumbo Jenga, a coconut shy, hook a duck… There’s lots of fun games you can play outside and some venues even have these in place themselves. You can organise them yourself, borrow from friends or hire items. Again, you just need a little preparation to keep things sanitized between uses.

Photo by Jacob Malinksi

Photo by Jacob Malinksi

8 Parlour games

I always just thought this was confined to Cherades - which, by the way, is a great go-to. There are others though - like Six Degrees of Keven Bacon (this name made me chuckle) - which would be fun in small groups. You could write prompts and rules and get each table to play games together. They’re great ice-breakers too! Here’s a good list of different parlour games. Not everyone drinks alcohol or wants to drink a lot of it but I’m pretty surely a creative mind could turn any of these into drinking games should each group fancy it!

9 Bingo

Ah, Bingo, so simple and yet very immersive - People get very competitive and excited for something that really is a game of chance! You can personalise this by having phrases the couple say, pics of them in different holiday spots, names or images of the people in the wedding party - basically anything goes! You could have food and drink prizes that are easy to organise and it’s a game that anyone can play.

10 Fireworks and sparklers

A fantastic way to send off the couple AND it’s outdoors - win win! Even before the pandemic, it was the most magical end to a wedding I’d experienced (especially the bride’s reaction as the groom had organised it as a surprise!) A bright, happy moment to end a memorable day.

Photo by Claire Penn

Have you got other ideas? Or any questions? I’d love to hear what you think and as always, if you need anything - just get in touch! Carly x

Photo credit - Top image of couple and confetti is by Epic Love Story.

A - Z of common wedding terms

Have you been planning your celebrations only to stumble across a phrase and think, “What the hell does THAT mean?! Do I need that?!”

Unless you work in the wedding industry or plan events professionally, you may not know your cummerbunds* from your corkage, and that’s okay. When I was engaged, I was CLUELESS and I found the wedding-planning lingo hard to follow.

Well, you can relax. This handy glossary of terms will fill in the gaps, so you can crack on with party-planning!

Altar

In days gone by, this exclusively meant the table at the front of a place of worship, and if you’re having a religious ceremony, this still stands. If you’re not, it means the place you stand during the ceremony where all your guests can see and hear you make your vows to each other.

The can be as simple or as over-the-top as you want!

via Festival Brides

Bouquet

A bunch of flowers, usually tied with string or ribbon. It’s common for a bride and a bridal party to have a bouquet each, but you can choose if you all have them, you dot them around the venue or not have them at all! They can be fresh, dried, artificial or made of paper or felt.

Photo by Jenny Markham

Image by Daze Photography & Film

Button holes

These are little bunches of flowers pinned to the lapel, or pushed through the button hole, of a suit jacket (or equivalent place on whatever you’re wearing!)

Image by Daze Photography & Film

via I Heart Buttons

Canapés

Yes please! These are little appetisers like a cracker topped with something tasty or a delicious small snack served on a spoon or a stick. Something you can pop in your mouth and enjoy in between all the mingling.

You tend to serve them once people arrive at the reception but before the main meal starts (see below: ‘Wedding breakfast’) to fill a hole and quite frankly keep people sober from all the merriment.

via Temptation For Food

via The Every Kitchen

Carriages at midnight

It’s a very old-fashioned term, but basically it means ‘Please book transport home at midnight’ - or put more simply, this is when the party ends. It’s meant to be polite, but it’s so archaic that it confuses lots of people.

My advice is scrap the term, and simply pop something on your invitations something less formal, that feels friendly and more like you. For example, ‘We can’t wait to celebrate our day with you, all the way ‘til midnight!’ (or whenever your wedding celebrations end).

It’s usually determined by your venue, and it’s handy to let your guests know this on the invitations or wedding website as it allows them to plan ahead.

Celebrant

This is the person who leads your ceremony. They’re different to a registrar because they tailor your service to you (and you still need a registrar to actually make it official). An enthusiastic celebrant can make the difference between the plain exchange of ‘I do’s and a really meaningful, personal and engaging ceremony.

via Nat Raybould - Celebrant

Centrepiece

These are something pretty to look at in the middle of your table. My advice would be to skip these on your actual dining table, or make them low-level or transparent as experience will attest that all they do is block your view of the people sat opposite you.

This can make things extra awkward if your guests have never met each other. If they’re trying to be polite, they’d be bobbing around trying to peek at each other and make chit-chat through the centrepiece, and who wants that?! Here’s a nice example:

Photo by Emilie May

However, if you were having a dessert table, you’d probably make a wedding cake the centrepiece. It’s basically the item you’d like the most attention to be given to amongst a collection of other things.

Corkage

This is a cost that a venue will charge you to open bottles of alcohol. This only happens if you have a dry hire wedding (see below). It’s important you ask about this and factor it in to your budget because it can be a sudden shock if you’re not aware of it!

Cake topper

A figurine of the two of you, a sign with your names on, a lego model of Hogwarts… (just me?!)…A cake topper is simply an object you place on top of a cake. Think of it as the wedding equivalent to birthday candles. It just says “I am a wedding cake”, but of course you don’t need one! It’s your choice.

via Nouba

Photo by Jessica Grace Photography

Day-of coordinator

These people are angels. They’re hyper-organised, high-energy folk (the kind that actually DO have clipboards) who make sure your day runs smoothly. They allow you to actually participate in your wedding, rather than just host. You work with them before the day so they know all the timings, the whats and wheres, and they work the whole day long to make it happen. Not a must-have, but highly recommended!

I really rate both Jump The Broom and Devine Bride for this job!

Destination wedding

Basically a holiday and a wedding rolled into one! A destination wedding is one that you have abroad. Sometimes the celebrations last a little longer and as well as the wedding day, the couple host a few days of get-togethers and activities.

Dry hire

A dry hire venue is one that allows you use of the blank canvas space, but doesn’t have in-house catering or a bar. In this circumstance, you need to find people to come in and make (and serve) food and drinks. Opting for this gives you more flexibility in terms of where you get married but there’s more organising to do, too. A wedding planner (see below) can really help with this, but of course you can do it yourselves.

Escort cards

I would do these if a couple requested them, but they’re less common than a table plan and place names (see below) because, in my opinion, they’re more confusing. They’re little cards laid on a welcome table that have the names and table number of each of your guests on, to show them where to sit.

The reason I prefer a table plan is because a guest can see their name on a list and sometimes the table plan even shows where that table is located. I’d argue finding your name in a sea of cards is harder!

They can be branded to match all of your other stationery.

Favours

These are little gifts you give your guests as a token of thanks for coming to your wedding, and often they’re placed on their spot at the table. Think candles, wildflower seeds, chocolates - just something small they enjoy on the day or take home with them.

I’ve collaborated with Grant + Blossom to make hand-poured candle favours which actually match the same style as your stationery, like invites and menus. You can check those out here.

Head table

This is the table where the brides, grooms and their families tend to sit. It’s common to have this table somewhere everyone else can view, so it’s easy for them to watch and listen to speeches, if you do them. Some people call it a ‘top table’.

Hen do (and Stag do)

This is a pre-wedding party to celebrate your engagement with your best mates and close family - a last hurrah of sorts. People tend to split it so all the people who identify as women (the Hens) have a separate party to their male counterparts, the Stags. Nowadays you do what you want, and mixing the groups is sometimes known as a Sten or Hag do.

If you ned help planning one of these, because you’re a bridesmaid, groomsman, Maid or Mate of Honour (see below), then I’ve put together some top tips just for you.

Master of Ceremonies

Also simply ‘The MC’, this is your friend or family member who is the loudest, most charismatic, and can herd all your guests through the milestones of your wedding. They often have a microphone, and at key points of the day, like when dinner is served, they let everyone know. It can really add some flare to your day if this person is warm, funny and likeable. Which I’m sure all of your mates are!

Mate of Honour (and Best Woman)

A Maid of Honour is someone who a bride picks to be their chief bridesmaid, and they identify as female. A Mate of Honour is the male equivalent. It’s a lovely title because if you’re a bride-to-be and your best friend or sibling isn’t female, they still get to be an official member of your wedding party.

A Best Man is chosen by a groom to do that same job for them, and is, as it says on the tin, someone who identifies as a man. A Best Woman is a groom’s main go-to who is female.

On the day stationery

I like to just call this ‘wedding day stationery’ because I think it’s more self-explanatory! These are order of service sheets or booklets, place names, table plans, escort cards, menus, welcome signs and anything else paper-based that you use to give your guests the information they need to navigate your day and venue. It’s ideal if they all match in terms of colours, fonts and styles so that your guests can easily recognise them.

Photo by Caroline Opacic

Open bar

Something your guests might love but your bank balance might not! An open bar means that your guests keep their purses and wallets closed and that you provide all the drinks for free. It’s very advisable that you tell the bar to cap it at a certain limit, for obvious reasons!

Alternatively, you could have certain drinks be free and others available to buy. Sometimes a couple brews their own beer or makes their favourite punch, but ask their guests to pay for cocktails, wine and spirits.

Order of service

This is a document, usually a booklet or sheet, which tells your guests what is happening on your wedding day, in order. It could be just for the ceremony or it could cover the whole day’s festivities.

It might contain details of a reading, like the title, who wrote it and who is giving it, or even the lyrics to a song or hymn if you’re hoping people sing!

Palette

This is just a fancy word for your colour scheme. It really sets the mood for the day - muted tones feel relaxed and bright hues with high contrast imply it’s time for a party! If you’re struggling to choose a style for your wedding, read this blog post.

Place names

These are little cards you place on each table setting, and each one has an individual guests’ name on it. It helps them to find their seats for the main meal (see Wedding breakfast).

Photo by Lex Fleming

RSVP

An acronym for the French ‘Répondez s'il vous plaît’, it simply means ‘kindly respond’. An RSVP card is a piece of stationery that allows your guests to tell you whether or not they can make your wedding. There’s often space for dietary requirements and occasionally a tickbox for them to say they’d like to stay at the same accommodation as the couple.

You can provide a stamp and envelope or they can use their own. You can also have a RSVP via email or text if you want to save on paper or need a quick response.

Save the date

Just like an RSVP, these are also a simple piece of card. You send them in advance of your main invitations, and they just ask your guests to hold that date in their diaries.

Sending these ahead of a main invitations allows you to secure a date and maximise your chances of everyone you want to come being available, without you having had to plan every detail of the day first.

Stationery suite

My numero uno, my true love - the stationery suite 🖤 This is all your matching paper bits that ask your guests to come to your wedding, tell them the details, help direct them on the day and thank them afterwards. Stationery suites can include:

• Save the dates

• Invitations

• Information cards

• Envelopes

• RSVPs

• Orders of service

• Welcome signs

• Table plans

• Table names or numbers

• Place names

• Escort cards

• Food menus

• Cocktail menus

• Thank you cards

Photo by Lex Fleming

Sweetheart table

This is a bit like a top table but it’s set for two. It’s an intimate set up for the couple, which in retrospect, I think we would have enjoyed at our wedding. We got married and then were so busy hosting, we didn’t really spend any time together until the next day!

Photo by Map + Compass

Having that moment to really take it all in would be special and give you that chance to take a breath before the party really kicks off.

Tablescape

This is the table in it’s entirety. It can look breath-taking when everything comes together. Breaking bread with your loved ones is so special, and a well thought-out tablescape can not only be an ice-breaker for guests meeting for the first time, but it’s a beautiful backdrop for all those little magic moments.

It’s where the guests eat, where they listen to, and toast to, your speeches about how much you love each other, and - if they’re so inclined, it’s usually where they start to get a bit merry!

Tablescapes can include:

• Plates

• Crockery

• Cutlery

• Glasses

• Tablecloth or linens

• Napkins

• Centrepieces

• Flowers

• Candles

• Menus

• Place names

• Table names/numbers

• Favours

via Ruffled

Photo by Stephanie Green

Table plan

This is a big poster you put at the entrance to where people will eat. It has table names or numbers, each with a list of guests’ names and it shows them where to sit. Depending on your venue, most tables seat 8-12 guests each.

If you’re having a more relaxed day, perhaps with street food or a buffet, then you don’t need one of these as people will take a seat wherever suits them. If you do opt for more formal dining, often your venue can provide an easel to prop the poster up on - make sure to ask them before purchasing one yourself.

When we were planning our wedding, creating our table plan was a long ol’ task. We wanted everyone to feel comfortable, and we had to factor in accessibility issues, single guests who didn’t know anyone and those dreaded ex-couples who wanted to keep their distance!

If you have a table plan, it’s really useful to plot it out so at least one gregarious, welcoming person is sat on each table to get the conversations going! You can even plant ice-breakers on each table, like questions to ask each other, if you want to.

Usher

An usher is another word for a groomsman (but they can be male or female). They simply welcome your guests to your ceremony, help the elders find a seat and could be in charge of the ceremony music.

Wedding breakfast

This is the main meal on your wedding day. It’s called a breakfast to indicate it’s your first meal as a married couple, even though it’s most likely to be served in the late afternoon or evening. It’s a funny phrase and probably the most common confusing term in this whole list!

Photo by Bless Photography

Wedding party

All your favourite people! This is bridesmaids, groomsmen, both sets of parents and you, the couple.

Wedding planner

This might be the same angelic person who is running your on-the-day coordination. They help source suppliers, negotiate with the venue and take charge of all the wedding admin (or ‘wedmin’, if you like) so you can focus on being happily engaged.

These are particularly helpful if you’re having a big wedding or a destination wedding where you don’t speak the language, because a native speaker is a real asset to have on board. You can also find dry hire specialists who really know their stuff on blank canvas venues.

Wedding stylist

These are very creative people who can pull together backdrops, tablescapes, seating areas, flowers - you name it - to style your day consistently. A stylist can be the difference between a pretty wedding and a jaw-dropping one. Just hand them a moodboard and see what they can do!

Photo by Caroline Opacic of Zuza McKen - WholeLottaLove Weddings

*Cummerbunds

These are so uncommon, but just in case… It’s that crazy bit of material round the waist, as part of a suit. If you want ‘em, you do you!

via Cat Poland

If I’ve missed something and you want to ask me about it, then please get in touch. I’d love to help and hear about your plans!

Carly x

How Do I Plan a Hen or Stag Party?

Often this can seem as daunting a task as the wedding: A party, a sleepover, potentially awks team-building and a holiday all in one! It doesn’t have to be as complicated or as expensive as you imagine to throw your bestie the event they deserve, nor does it have to be cheesy or leave you penniless, either. Just follow our basic tips! We’re going to cover:

• Why have a Hen or Stag do?

• What is a Hag or Sten party?

• Writing your guest list

• Setting expectations and group communication

• Planning your budget

• Duration and availability

• Choosing a location, and your accommodation and travel

• Planning activities

• Eating and drinking

• Atmosphere and ice-breaking

• Where to look for some extra help

Let’s jump in!

Why have a hen or stag do? 

The days of strictly hetero marriages, with no sex beforehand, immediate baby-making after “I do”, and the associated last hurrah are, thankfully, over. So, are ‘last night of single life’ parties part of the past too?

Hey, they’re not for everyone, but another reason to raise a glass to two people in love seems like a happy thing in my book. You do what you want, don’t bow to anyone’s expectations.

Having said that, I do urge you to consider the possibility of having a hen or stag party, if you’re not already swayed. All too often, it seems the reason we duck out of some of the wedding prep - trying on those fancy dresses, allowing friends to plan a pamper sesh, having a party thrown for us - is because we don’t believe we deserve the fuss. YOU DO, okay?!

What is a Hag or Sten do?

It’s pretty neat - It’s just a joint pre-nuptial party, where you don’t separate groups based on gender. We were keen on a big group party at Go Ape! (a tree-top adventure playground) when we were engaged. We were so easily talked out of it for strict girl/boy time (plus half of my bridesmaids were a straight up “NO” to hanging out of a tree). If you two fancy a Sten party, hold your ground and go for it!

Writing your guest list

First thing’s first - who do you want to invite? It can depend on the type of event you’re imagining. If you want L plates, strippers and body shots, contemplate for a moment what that picture looks like with your Auntie Brenda front and centre. Invite appropriately and brief your bridesmaids and groomsmen, if they’re planning the party for you, to make sure no activities are planned which will make people feel awkward, embarrassed or left out.

TOP TIP
My recommendation would be to keep the guest list to your wedding party and close friends. Weddings can already be fairly expensive and it’s difficult if guests feel pressure to pay for an extra party on top. Groups of large people in confined spaces are difficult to manage too!

Setting expectations and group communication

If you’re going big - say you’re dreaming of a week-long tropical getaway, make that clear to guests up front. It will make planning, budgeting, communication and therefore rapport so much smoother and more enjoyable for everyone involved. I’d say the longer and more elaborate the party is, the pricier it’ll be, and therefore you might expect a smaller group of guests to be able to come along. Just like with planning your wedding, you would hate to find out hidden costs along the line, so make sure it’s crystal what your hopes and plans are to avoid any potential stress.

You might want to set up a WhatsApp group chat, a private Facebook event or just organise things by good, old-fashioned email. I’d opt for the WhatsApp group, as it gives people a chance to see profile pics and get to know each other before the event.

The most common fear I hear when brides talk about their Hen do is whether the pockets of friends that are being brought together will all get on well. I’ll talk later about ice-breaking, but I really would recommend you factor that in to your activity, location and meal planning. Interestingly, the principle concern I hear from Stags is usually regarding their eyebrows being shaved off when they sleep…🤨

TOP TIP
Keep it simple. A meal, some drinks, an accessible activity like bowling - that’s all you need. Complicated can lead to disappointed!

Planning your budget

Think about how much you’d be willing to spend for a night out or weekend away for your friend. We have a tendency to get so excited about getting married that we may lose a little perspective, but just imagine you got invited to 5 hen or stag parties this year. How much could you realistically set aside for all these events? Think about your friend’s financial situations and what is fair to expect of them. The people present are more important than the place you’re in. 

The way I’ve seen it done before is the main party planner asks the guests how much they’re willing to spend first using something like a Facebook poll. Once the results are in, they research possible locations and activities based on that. This means there’s no awkwardness or drop-outs based on cost, which is a sad reason not to go to a party.

TOP TIP
Include a kitty within your budget. This can pay for essentials in the shared accommodation or cover all food, drink, travel, activities and any gifts for the whole weekend. Any leftover can be given back evenly after the event.

Duration and availability  

Ask your guests how long they are willing to be on a Stag or Hen party. It could be a Saturday afternoon, or a week-long affair. If it’s the latter, guests will need to check their holiday allowance and book time off work or arrange suitable childcare, which makes organising tricky. Plan months ahead rather than weeks, giving everyone a fair chance to being able to make it.

TOP TIP
A cool free tool for seeing overall group availability is Doodle. You pop in all possible dates, share with the guest list and people can select the dates they can make. Simply pick the most popular day in the poll and you’re set!

Choosing a location, accommodation and travel

You’re modern people, you know about Air BnB for places to stay and  Skyscanner and Trainline for cheap travel options. However, you might be missing a trick if multiple guests are coming from the same place but are travelling separately. You can save some serious cash by booking group train tickets (you could save over a third with GroupSave!), or even hiring a minibus. Plus, if you’re like me, planning a playlist and snacks for a road trip is actually part of the fun!

Remember to factor in that people will have to travel from all over to meet at your chosen location, which means their personal pay-out to be there will be different from the next guest. I’d recommend selecting a town or city that is accessible to everyone and doesn’t cost more than £70 to get to.

Self-catering options will not only be more budget-friendly than hotels if you’re going away for a few days, but you can even buddy people up who don’t know each other to be in charge of cooking certain meals together. Make sure you book somewhere which allows Hen and Stag parties, as some companies have stringent rules about this sort of event.

It’s really great if the place you stay has some sort of communal area for you to all hang out, play games and eat together. A major reason for having a party like this before the wedding is to get everyone to bond. Funny challenges and silly games bring people together brilliantly so it’s great to have a space for this.

TOP TIP
If you’re staying in a house or cottage all together, plan meals in advance and book an online shop. Don’t forget essentials like loo roll, toothpaste, tea bags, olive oil, salt and pepper.

Planning activities

Try a mix of feel-good things to do, raucous fun and something sentimental for a great party!

Pamper the group by getting your nails done together, or stock up on pizza and everyone’s favourite movies for a cosy night in. Throw in some laugh-your-head-off good times: Learn a Spice Girls routine, swing round a pole, do karaoke or try a cookery class. Lastly, some cute keepsakes like a Polaroid scrapbook of the party and some stories of how you met the couple will keep it personal and special. 

TOP TIP
Not all activities have to cost money. You could distribute the budget by planning a free competitive scavenger hunt challenge in the morning, followed by luxury spa treatments after lunch. 

Eating and drinking

We’ve already mentioned group cooking, but I cannot emphasise enough: You must plan for people being hungry! People need to eat, and you don’t want hangry to crush the vibes.

Preparation is paramount. Get the groceries for things like breakfast, lunches, treats and drunk-snacking. You can then plan to eat out as specific activities. This not only breaks up the weekend, but when eating is part of the entertainment, you save a few quid too. For example, you could book an afternoon tea one day and dinner and drinks another. If you’re relying on take-out for a meal, make sure you plan options in advance, with all the phone numbers you might need. You could even, if you’re super organised, cook up a big lasagne the night before the party and bring it along, allowing you to toss a side salad and host with no stress.

TOP TIP 
Make sure you find out allergies and preferences before you meal plan so everyone feels included and catered for. Don’t assume everyone wants to get boozey and ensure there are tasty soft drinks available too!

Atmosphere and ice-breaking

Well, you know who’s coming, where you’re going, what you’re doing, what you’re eating and how much it costs. Now you’re going to have a bunch of people in a room, a mix of school friends, uni and work pals, cousins and even parents and it’s your job to make sure everyone has a good time. Eek!

Set the tone with an awesome playlist. If you can get there first and set up some welcome snacks and drinks, that always loosens people up. Make sure you remember everyone’s names and when new faces show up, do the introductions so they’re instantly welcomed into the fold. Play some games, top up glasses or jump straight into your first activity because the sooner people start chatting, the better!

Real life example
My Maid of Honour left a pair of socks from one of the 4 Hogwarts houses and some chocolates on everyone’s pillow as a welcome present. The houses were used as teams for games throughout the first night - everyone shoved their socks on immediately, no questions asked! The Harry Potter theme continued with decorations, costumes, ‘potions class’ cocktails, Butterbeer-pong and me eating my way through an entire bowl of sparkly green vodka jelly to retrieve a Horcrux 😂. The point is, not everyone there loved HP the way I do, but the theme was sentimental, and the games got everyone on board quickly.

TOP TIP
When everyone arrives, toast to the bride and/or groom. It’ll remind everyone why they made the effort - they’re the link that connects you all!

Extra help

There are awesome companies out there who not only plan the whole thing for you, but take care of asking each guest for their share of the payment, making it less awkward for you. Cluck is a great example, offering hen do packages for modern brides that include stays in cool London hotels, blow-dry parties and bottomless brunches. 

I love, love, love party planning. If you want some advice or ideas, just get in touch! Happy planning!

How Do I Choose a Style for My Wedding?

It’s daunting to select just a single way of representing you both aesthetically for one big day. You’re complex, but the look of your wedding can pull out just a few parts of both your personalities without looking messy. It’s all about a balance of backdrop, details and atmosphere.

The Backdrop

By this, we mean:

• The venue - the space you’re all going to occupy

• The amount of people coming (and therefore the level of intimacy of the event)

• The guest dress code, if you have one

• The venue’s table, chairs, exterior, the walls and foundations - textured vs smooth walls, graffiti etc

All of these things will set the scene for the day. If you want a pretty summer garden theme, it might not work so well in an old warehouse by a canal. Selecting a venue you LOVE will give you some big clues as to what to choose for your day’s overall style. It’s the biggest visual tool you’re going to have!

Fazeley Studios in Birmingham

Ashridge Great Barn in Devon. Photo by Clare Kinchin

The Details

These bits can cover:

• On-the-day stationery like your welcome signs, menus, place names, table names

• Favours, if you choose to have them

• Decorations like a photo backdrop, bunting, pom-poms, wall-hangings

• Practical objects like tablecloths, napkins, crockery, cutlery, glassware

• The transport you choose

• Your cake

• Your outfits, shoes, accessories like jackets and jewellery

• Your hair and make up choices

• The flowers you choose

• What you show of your usual day-to-day look: Tattoos, coloured hair, that necklace you wear and everyone recognises as yours etc.

These details not only overlay on top of the backdrop, but are the parts which are really from the heart and make the day feel like ‘you’. You can play with so much colour and texture here and really have some fun with it. You can DIY a whole bunch of it, delegate to the wedding party over a few wines or get some external help. There are 👏so 👏 many 👏awesome wedding suppliers who can help you with these finer details. Here’s a few of my faves:

Table linens by Sand Snow Linen

Iridescent wine glasses by Anthropoligie

Embroidered veils by Ink & Thimble

Paper decorations by Rachel Emma Studio

Chocolates and cakes by ARD Bakery

The Atmosphere

This is more than just the look - it’s how your day feels. It can include:

• The music you choose, including if you have a band

• Any other entertainment - magician, fire dancers, arial performers… Go wild!

• The scent - many venues let you burn incense, candles or use diffusers if you ask them to

• The food you choose and how it’s served. This could be food trucks, pizza boxes, grazing tables and buffets or a sit-down 3-courser. They all create the atmosphere - be it formal and fancy or super chilled.

Grazing platter by Amaze & Graze

Aerial hoop performer Marieka Jackson

Incense collection via The Gem Picker

Choosing a Style

Doing this brings all those visual cues together. Take the venue as the foundation, and then think what you like about the place. Brainstorm some things that really matter to you both and see how they’d play out in a style and whether they correlate with each other and fit well with the backdrop, too.

Try not to be literal - if one of you loves West Ham Football Club and the other is big into knitting, you don’t have to knit everyone a West Ham scarf as a favour. But, you know, you can! However you might like to have pops of claret, light blue and canary yellow in your flower arrangements and stationery instead, which give a nod to the Hammers but don’t dominate the day. You could knit some bunting or ribbons to hold knives and forks together and people will know this is made with love and genuinely represents you both.

The difference between a style and a theme is that a style mixes a combination of foreground and background visual inspiration to create an overall aesthetic and vibe, but a theme is more literal. For example, a style is something loose like ‘Celestial’, a theme is more direct, like ‘Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet’.

Here are a few more examples of how you might plan a style or theme:

Travel

As a theme: You might incorporate stamps, flags, airmail envelopes and maps

As a style: You might have more of a nod to land, sea, sky and time through floaty dyed tablecloths and using grass, tropical plants, sand, water, wood, shells and stones in your centrepieces

Photo by Catalina Jean

1950s

As a theme: Think petticoats, quiffs, Teddy boy jackets, Grease soundtrack, set in an old-school diner

As a style: More like a red lip and a netted birdcage veil, a retro car like a Chevrolet Bel Air, a 50s-inspired font like Syrup and pretty faded pastels for contrast

Starry birdcage veil by Crown and Glory

A Pink Table Setting by Otto Maya via Conde Nast

Photo by Jill Reger

Disney

As a theme: That yellow Belle dress, tables named after specific characters, a Mickey Mouse cake, horse and carriage as transport

As a style: Flowers displayed under a glass bell, candelabras, pumpkin centrepieces, soft princessy linens, chiffons and silks

Photo by Karina Leonenko

Sundried flower bells by Ginette et Ernest

Plant-dyed material by Cocortez

Summary

To round it up, my advice is to find balance. Negative space gives the important details room to breathe. You don’t have to blast every element and plaster every surface to get the point across. No one will look at the forks and think, “That fork is SO Ashley and Joel”, y’know? Find colours and textures you BOTH like and create a mood board with something like Pinterest, which is packed full of inspiration.

You might have been able to tell that I’m more of a fan of style as inspiration rather than a cut-and-dry theme or scheme. For me, I think it leaves plenty of room for you both to shine - it’s the stage you set but not the show. However, as always, I fully support people doing their day their way, so take want you want from this and run with it!

If you’re stuck on the big picture, ask for help! There are loads of suppliers who are wedding styling experts who you could chat to at wedding fairs and on Instagram, and you can always email me on carly@withbellson.co.uk for some FREE chat and advice. I’d love to help!

What Do I Need To Write On My Wedding Invitations?

I get asked fairly often what information couples should give their guests, so here’s a handy guide for writing your wedding invitations. Before you get going, you’ll need know a few things:

• When you’re getting married

• Where you’re getting married

• Whether you’re inviting all guests to the whole day, or if you’ll need evening reception invitations too

• What accommodation is available

• How many guests you’re inviting, and how many to which part, so you can tell your stationer.

A few tips before we start:

Select your tone early on. Are you having a laid-back day or a more formal affair? Your language can reflect this and it gives guests a good indication of the feel of the wedding ahead of time.

Do as much work as you want to, not what you feel you have to. If you don’t want to hunt down flight times and hotel prices, there are polite ways to guide guests without you running yourself ragged.

If you’ve sent a Save the Date, you can post* your invitations closer to the wedding. Check down at the bottom of the article for when we recommend you let your guests know what’s what, depending on the length of your engagement. *We’ve said ‘post’ as a catch-all. You may been sending them via email, video, text…!

Remember - you don’t need an invitation per person, just one for each household!

With this list, we’ve tried to group information together assuming you have a booklet, series of postcards, a folder - something like that. You may well have a unique format for your invitations, but you can still use the following as a guide.

Main invitation

This can be very formal, very relaxed or it may strike a balance somewhere in the middle. Our experience is that if parents are making a large financial contribution towards the wedding, they’d often like to be mentioned, which makes it quite formal. If you’re paying for everything yourselves, or you’d just like to have a more colloquial tone, the invitation usually comes straight from you two.

This part should include the day, the date, the time it starts, the venue and the town. If you’re moving between two venues for the ceremony and reception, you could mention this too. Here are some examples:

A formal invitation

[Your parent's names] cordially invite you to witness the marriage of their daughter*

[Your name] to [Your partner’s name]

on Saturday 8th August 2020

at 12:30pm

at Hensor House, Buckinghamshire

*/ son! Traditionally, the first name would be a woman’s name and the second a man’s, as the bride’s parents would be paying for the wedding. Luckily, we don’t live in such a restrictive world anymore, so whether you want to re-order the names, you’re in a same-sex relationship or you want to be creative with it, you can do whatever you like.

A semi-formal invitation

Join us to celebrate to marriage of

[Your first and last name] and [Their first and last name]

on Saturday 8th August 2020

at 12:30pm

at Asia House, Marylebone

Followed by drinks, dinner and dancing at Islington Metal Works, London

A relaxed invitation

[Your first name] + [Their first name] are getting hitched

on Saturday 8th August 2020

at 12:30pm

at The Fire Pit Camp, Norwich

The ceremony

We suggest providing your guests with the following information:

• The full address

• How to get there.
  This could be light touch, like ‘Nearest tube is Oxford Circus’ all the way through to a full illustrated map.

• When you'd like them to get there.
  It’s often suggested that guests begin to arrive 30 minutes before the start of the ceremony to allow them to chat, take their seats and avoid being late.

• If your venue has any policies or concerns on things like disabled access, pets or confetti

• Your dress code if you have one

• The parking situation

• Any information specific to your venue or plans, like it’ll be a ceremony outside.

Transport

If you’re moving from one venue to another, let your guests know the details. If you’re putting on a coach, giving lifts, walking across the park or need them to hop on the bus, give them notice here so they can prepare. If your voyage is outdoors, perhaps advise they wear sensible shoes and bring a coat or umbrella. The more you can guide your guests and get them prepared for the day, the more comfortable, relaxed and happy they’ll feel!

The reception

If your wedding is all happening in a single spot, you might not need extra information on the reception specifically, other than what time the reception will conclude (see below).

If you’re having the ceremony in one venue and your party in another, here’s what we suggest to tell your guests:

• The full address

• Just the same as with the ceremony, let your guests know if your venue has any policies or concerns on things like disabled access, pets or confetti

• The parking situation

• What time the party ends, which is often called ‘carriages’. For example, you could say ‘Carriages at midnight’, which is a polite way of saying when they need to leave!

Accommodation

Perhaps you’re booking and paying for some or all of the accommodation for guests, perhaps reserving or allocating places to sleep, suggesting nearby spots to stay or simply leaving it to the guests to make individual arrangements. Whichever you choose, let them know in this section.

The amount of work you do for your guests in terms of where to stay depends on a few things.

• If it’s a destination wedding, with a foreign language, difficult terrain or it’s really remote, you might like to give your guests a helping hand in planning and booking accommodation.

• What information you have access to. Venues should usually help you if you ask!

• How much time you have to arrange things and how many guests you have.
  If you have 30 invitees flying to a small Greek island from the UK, it’s a different story to having 300 guests in your home city.

Our advice would be, do what you need to do to make people feel welcome but not so much that you’re stressed. You could be booking Air BnBs for each family, creating a list of local options with addresses and phone numbers, or you could say 'There are lots of options in [location] and the surrounding area'.

If your venues are hard to get to via public transport or by walking, make this clear here. You could include some local taxi numbers and a word about booking in advance if you think they need to.

You might be planning activities around the wedding itself, for example, meeting in the pub or having a meal to welcome people the night before, or having breakfast together on the morning after. Letting your guests know this allows them to book accommodation for the right amount of nights.

Children

You and your partner can discuss whether you would like children to come along to the wedding but either way, address the matter so it's super clear. Either it's a 'everyone is welcome, even the smallest of guests' or 'We'd love you to see it as a chance to let your hair down' type thing, but it helps people plan!

If you do have guests under 18, check with your venue about the licenses and policies. It’s also nice to provide somewhere quiet, crayons or play space for children so they feel catered for too, and their parents/guardians feel more chilled!

Food and drink

This doesn't have to be a section, but you might like to mention what you're planning, or if you have any specific things you like to let people know. For example, you're having an ice cream cart, or all the food is local from sustainable sources, is vegan or made by your mum!

Gifts

You might not want any, you might have specific gift list, you might ask guests to bring along their favourite bottle of booze, or maybe you’ve created a honeymoon fund. You can have a few words on whatever you choose, and if you're doing this through a website or PayPal, you can have the details for that too.

RSVPs

Finally, tell your guests what date you’d like them to respond by. You might be providing a card, or they might be emailing or calling you. Advise them to provide:

• A response for everyone on the invite

• Their dietary requirements

• If they need a parking space or accommodation (if this is something you’re arranging)

What about guests who are just invited in the evening?

There will be less information for those who are invited to join in later on in the day. We suggest:

• The full address of the reception venue

• How to get there

• Venue policies or concerns on things like disabled access, pets or confetti

• The parking situation

• Info on children

• Info on food and drink. For example, ‘we’re providing a late night snack ‘or ‘bring cash for the bar’

• Carriages

• Accommodation

• RSVP

You can decide if you'd like to include gift information for evening guests based on how well you know them.

When should I send the invitations out?

If you’re not sending Save the Dates, send your invitation out as soon as you can. Allow time for people to send their responses, preferably 6 months ahead of the day, as this helps you to plan more accurately with your suppliers. Here’s a rough guide on when to send out your wedding stationery, depending on how long you’re going to be engaged:

If you’re getting married within 6 months of getting engaged, let people know the date of your wedding day as soon as possible. You can do it via postcard, letter, text, email or a specifically designed card. Get your full invitation out by 2-3 months, and ask for an RSVP by no later than 6 weeks before the day.

If you’re engaged for 6 - 12 months, we recommend sending a Save the Date by month 4 and an invite by month 8.

If you’re engaged for longer than 12 months, we’d suggest holding the date with your guests by month 6 and sending an invite 3 - 6 months before the wedding day.

💖🧡💛

Got questions? Email me on carly@withbellson.co.uk or DM on Instagram and I’d be happy to help!

What Do I Need To Plan For My Wedding? - Part 2

💖🧡💛This is part 2 of 2. If you missed the first part, you can find it here. At the end, you can download a summarised list to help you plan your special day! 💖🧡💛

In the last post, we talked about planning the who, what and where of the wedding: The bare bones, if you will. This post will be about styling your event to make it scream you as a couple, transforming it into sentimental, special and, of course, fun. Let’s kick off!

Your Outfits

Often we put a phenomenal amount of pressure on ourselves to look THE BEST WE EVER HAVE OR WILL on our wedding day - I certainly did. It’s not really fair to future you and it’s definitely not a healthy outlook. You need to look after yourself! Eat well, do some exercise, don’t beat yourself up, please. That’s all I’ll say on that.

You can feel like a million dollars in the right outfit, but it certainly doesn’t have to cost that! I was incredibly lucky to have a step-mum who is a seamstress and she crafted my dream broderie-anglaise dress from 50 quid’s worth of material from Walthamstow market. I’m not saying you have to make your wedding outfit, but do consider these options:

• Lots of high-street and online brands such as H&M and ASOS now have bridal collections

• You can hire suits and dresses from a range of stores

• You can find amazing things from rooting around vintage and charity shops - This would also be a fun day out. You can also try Etsy or eBay!

• Some boutiques have huge discounts and even run competitions to win items from their collections

• If you’re looking for something a bit alternative like a coloured wedding dress, you may find it’s cheaper than the traditional white dresses which come with a premium

• You may be lucky enough to have a gorgeous hand-me-down from a family member, have the skills to craft your own or know someone who is a tailor. Ask around!

💖🧡💛

Your Wedding Cake

…or cheese, or pork-pies, or donuts…Whatever you like! It’s a tradition that makes lots of guests happy because, well, people like treat food. Choose something you love - Even if it’s a pile of pizza. 🍕🍕🍕And if this isn’t for you, then that’s cool too.

💖🧡💛

Your Flowers and Decorations

This is a good opportunity to own the aesthetic. It can differentiate your wedding from the rest and compliment the clothes, stationery and venue you’ve chosen. Some tips:

• You don’t have to buy fresh - You can get paper, felt or fabric flowers which could be re-used, sold on or given away to guests. Having decorations like this allows you to plan and place ahead of time, too.

• If you want fresh flowers but at a cheaper price, ask the florist to pick seasonally and up to a certain price. They can often be very creative based on just a colour suggestion.

• Ask if the venue has any ‘props’ or decorations and really use the space you’ve chosen.

• Don’t forget that the stationery you’ve chosen will be present and therefore will offer a lot of visual weight in the room. This might be all you need!

💖🧡💛

Your Music and Entertainment

You might be having a band, a string or barbershop quartet, a DJ or just a banging Spotify playlist. Whatever you choose, work together to create a soundtrack of music that matters to you. I asked on the RSVPs for songs that meant something to each guests. This meant they all had something to talk about, a reason to hit the dance floor, and it made our job of organising the music much easier!

I’ve also been to weddings with magicians, jazz pianists and karaoke - all have worked amazingly well at entertaining everyone!

💖🧡💛

Your Wedding Stationery

Oh so dear to my heart! It my very firm belief that unique, meaningful and beautiful design can change an event, a brand or a home into something to cherish. It can mean the difference between people feeling welcome, comfortable, relaxed and happy - or not.

I’ve written a post on what stationery you might need here. In brief, you don’t need to spend the earth to have something bespoke. Your wedding is just about you two, and your stationery - a save-the-date or an invitation, is a guest’s first glimpse into that intimate event. Send them something that truly shows them what sort of celebration they’re in for! 🤘🤘🤘

💖🧡💛

Photography and Videography

Capturing the day is the most wonderful keepsake. You could encourage guests to use their phones and cameras, hand out disposables, use Instax/Polaroids and of course, hire professionals.

There are so many wonderful, talented and friendly photographers and videographers who would really understand you as a couple and capture that magic. My tips:

• Talk to your professional photographer multiple times before booking them to make sure they’re right for you

• Use selective directories such as The Unwedding’s Book of Love, which has already narrowed down the best ones on your behalf (and often have discounts!)

💖🧡💛

Should I hire a wedding planner?

There are some REALLY amazing ones out there who will do their job so seamlessly that you float into your wedding day totally chillaxed. The worst thing that you can do when planning a wedding is lose yourself in it. It’s unbelievably easy for even the most organised and relaxed person to lose perspective of their priorities when wedding planning.

If you need help, whether it’s from a professional planner or not, just ASK. The worst that can happen is someone says no! Just remember why you’re doing it and focus on the one you love. 💖

💖🧡💛

And that’s about it! You may have some extra details which are bespoke and special to you, but that’s the bulk of organising. Overwhelmed? Don’t be - you’ve got this!

To make it even easier, I’ve created a list collating everything in this and the previous post so you can keep check of all your different elements! Get your FREE checklist here!

What Do I Need To Plan For My Wedding? - Part 1

Hello! I’ve unashamedly sat down with a cup of tea and a hot water bottle because cosy evenings are what it’s all about at the start of December. Talking to couples and researching online, it seems one of the most anxiety-inducing parts of getting married is that they don’t know where to start with their planning, and the cost seems beyond imagination.

I’ll start the same way as I did in this post when I talked about what stationery you might choose. You don’t NEED to do any of these things. Your wedding is your day to celebrate each other, so pick and mix the bits you like. That being said, let’s crack on with the possibilities.

💖🧡💛This is part 1 of 2. In the second post, you can download a summarised list to help you plan your special day! 💖🧡💛

The Date

Choosing when you want to get married depends on a few things:

• When you got engaged

• How long you need to plan and save

• What your plans are

• Where you’re getting married.

If you have your heart set on an outdoor wedding in your home town in Lancashire, maybe don’t do this in winter. If you need to save up to pay for your wedding from scratch, I’d suggest not having a short engagement as you’d stress yourself out. It’s also possible that you’d want to choose a sentimental date, like your anniversary.

True story: We got married in February because of my fear of wasps - and that meant I knew none would buzz in and ruin things! 🐝

💖🧡💛

Your Budget

According to Hitched, the average total cost of a wedding in 2019 was £31,974. That can seem very daunting to most, and rest assured I can tell you we had a beautiful day that didn’t cost anywhere near that much. Your budget is personal to you - Don’t go beyond what you can afford!

My advice here is that you make the day memorable, fun and unique based on the people present rather than anything aesthetic or based on finances. It’s a celebration of your love and promise to each other, so try not to get lost in material things and bankrupt yourself. I would highly recommend creating a spreadsheet to keep track of your spending to ensure you keep with your limit, and even set budgets for individual sections (outfits, flowers, food, stationery etc).

💖🧡💛

Your Guests

The day is MADE by the ones who come to bear witness, show support and give you all the 💜. You may choose just one person each, which is the legal obligation in the UK, or a whole heap of loved ones. Factor in who you think would support you as a couple and would be happy for you. Try not to be swayed by friends or relatives to invite people who don’t fit that description. If your budget is smaller, remember you can:

• Invite people to just part of the day

• Have some cheaper options for feeding your guests, like buffets or bring-your-own dishes

• Simple one: Just don’t have an open bar!

Once you know who you want there, make sure you get their addresses or email addresses (depending on how you’re going to send invites) and store them in one place for ease.

💖🧡💛

The Wedding Party

It’s so exciting to pick your bridesmaids/bridesmates/grooms-people/flower girls/page boys. It’s even more exciting to ask them! There’s often some politics or pressure around this about being left out but I have a few bits of advice:

• Keep numbers minimal of you can, because if you choose to buy your wedding party outfits, it could get pricey with a whole gang!

• Choose the people who know and love you as a couple

• If you have a Maid/Mate of Honour or Best Man/Woman, it’s very tempting to just choose your bestie or the person you’ve known for the longest time. Those roles are somewhat labour-intensive before and on the day. Whether it’s organising a hen/stag/sten do, herding guests, giving an appropriate speech or helping older relatives find their seat, you need a wedding party who is reliable and organised.

💖🧡💛

The Ceremony Venue and Vows

The truth this, you can spend forever swooning over flower crowns or show-stopping suits on Pinterest but at the end of the day, the ceremony is the only part of any wedding day you plan that ACTUALLY matters. It’s the difference between being married and not! Whether you tie the knot in a religious building, a secular registry office or outdoors, it’s the one price you have to just shell out, no negotiations. The main factors to consider here:

• How many people will fit?

• Can you afford it?

• Will everyone be comfortable? For example, can everyone sit down, will they need umbrellas/blankets?

• How easy is it to get to?

• Is it accessible to everyone? Remember older guests, those carrying babies and those with mobility issues.

• Can people easily get from the ceremony to the reception? See the Transport section below for more on this!

• What legal tasks do you need to complete to get married here? Remember, if you’re getting married in the UK you need to “give notice of intent to marry’ at least 29 days before the ceremony. More on that here.

💖🧡💛

The Reception Venue

Some people know where they’d want to get married and they negotiate a free date, and others know the date and find somewhere which is available. There’s no right or wrong here, it really depends on your priorities. What I would consider is the needs of your guests - Refer to your guest list and make sure you’ve factored in accessibility for those who are less able to move around and whether the venue allows children or pets, if you’re inviting them. Do your research - Look at images, whether they’ve hosted weddings before, testimonials and ask if they do tastings.

Key things to think about with your venue:

• Does it fit your budget? If you love it but can’t afford it at the weekend or at peak times, will they decrease the price for mid-week/off-season weddings?

• What does the price include? Do you need to pay extra for linens, cutlery, crockery, audio-visual set up or anything else?

• Will they set up and take down for you?

• Do they have space for dancing?

• Can you bring your own drinks/cake/anything else you fancy?

• Are you tied into their catering or list of approved caterers?

💖🧡💛

Table-Planning and Food

Your venue might handle all of the catering, you might provide your own, or you might organise something like food trucks for your guests to enjoy. If the reception venue isn’t covering the food, make sure you try different options with tasting sessions and book that in too.

Table planning, in all honesty, is one of the tasks that’s more of a head-scratcher to complete. Often there will be awkward numbers, or people who can’t be near each other, or accessibility considerations. But who doesn’t like a bit of a problem solving session?! Keep your cool, and you’ll work it out. My top tips:

• Write each person’s name on a piece of paper and pin them to a board or use magnets on your fridge to move things around until they make sense! This is much easier than writing them in a notebook or typing them about as you can see results really quickly.

• Have some spare blank name cards made up in whatever stationery style you’ve chosen to allow for any last minute changes to your guest list

• Don’t get your table plan printed and mounted ages in advance. Allow for flexibility and you’ll be less stressed nearer the wedding day!

💖🧡💛

Transport

This can include getting the wedding party to the ceremony, getting everyone in between venues and getting home. Again, it depends on your budget but try to remember people who don’t know the area or who might need a little extra help. Families with children might be bringing car seats and prams and there may be walking sticks and wheelchairs to factor in to your plans.

Bus hire is a popular choice because you can transport a large number of people at once. Often you can get your names printed for the front of the bus, too! When I got married, we hired a vintage Routemaster for our guests and a 1960s-style white cab for us. It was romantic to have that breather with my new husband but we missed out on the fun of the big red bus, which everyone said they loved!

My top tip here? If the journey isn’t long, don’t splash cash on drinks and snacks. They’ll get that when they arrive at the ceremony. I spent hours making branded biscuits (really much harder than it needed to be!) . And throw in the copious amounts of Prosecco we were handing out? Our guests came wobbling off that bus at the other end! 🍾🍾🍾

💖🧡💛

Accommodation

I honestly would only recommend sorting this for:

• The wedding party, if it’s a destination wedding

• Older guests who are from out of town

• If your venue is also the accommodation and you can bulk-book rooms

• You’re having a festival-style wedding with camping

You can certainly make suggestions of areas to stay, but I don’t think you need to burden yourself with where each guest lays their head that night. The logistics are difficult and stressful and in my experience, everyone finds somewhere to rest after the big day!

💖🧡💛

Hen/Stag/Sten Parties

If you’re having one, it’s a possibility that this would be organised on your behalf. It can be anything from a drink and getting your nails done with some pals to a big holiday abroad. My suggestions:

• Just like your wedding, it’s the people who make the event memorable rather than the ‘grammability of the affair. Don’t price out your mates for a big blow-out.

• Just focus on your nearest and dearest - the ones who are ecstatic about your upcoming nuptials.

• Remember why you’re having this party - It’s the lead-up to the big celebration of your love. Perhaps have a hen/stag/sten (where everyone goes out together rather than a single-gender event) which reflects that too!

• Don’t have one if you don’t want one! You can choose what you want to do and you don’t have to bow to tradition.

💖🧡💛

The Speeches

The thing to plan here, other than the words to say, is who is going to talk. Do not by any means think that it should be just three men. This is traditional, yes, but oh-so-very archaic. That’s not a judgement - You do you! But don’t be held back here if you’ve got something to say!

My top tips for wedding speeches:

• Don’t make them too long - people get fidgety

• Try to balance laughter with some vulnerability, sensitivity and sentimentality

• Don’t mention embarrassing stories about each other than you’ll cringe about if you caught your Nanna’s eye whilst saying it

• Even if it’s true, don’t say ‘I only wrote this last night/this morning’. Frankly, it sounds lazy and a thinly-veiled attempt at trying to hide nerves. Just hold your head up, speak loudly, and own what you’re saying. You’ll be great!

💖🧡💛

So, that covers the people, legal and venue sections of your plan, and a little about saving. In Part 2, we dive into more about the style of your wedding. We’ll chat outfits, flowers, entertainment and of course, stationery. Tune back in next week!

What Wedding Stationery Do I Need?

Congratulations if you’re engaged! Nothing makes me happy the way a couple-all-jittery-about-getting-married does. It’s an exciting time, but as many fiancées will tell you, it feels like a lot to plan and you can easily get overwhelmed. Not only does it seem like there’s a million things to think about and organise, but of course you’re not going to be expert at getting married, so let me lend you a hand.

First up, you don’t NEED anything. Your wedding day should reflect your relationship and what you love. Try not to feel pressured into tradition or what other people say. With that aside, I’ll tell you the basis of what each part of stationery in a suite is for. Then you can decide what you need!

Save the Dates

What are they?

The name is on the tin with this one, but it still might be complex to navigate in terms of what to say and when to send it. Save the Dates are usually very simple. They say your names, the date of the wedding and usually the city (and country if it’s not where you live). They encourage your guests to clear their diaries and ensure they can come to your wedding. Here’s an example:

SAVE THE DATE
Karina & Antonia are getting married!
11th April 2020
in Seville, Spain
Invitation to follow

You can of course add simple details and use whichever formatting of numbers and wording you prefer.

When should we send Save the Dates?

My recommendation would be as soon as you’ve chosen the date, and potentially booked the venue. This will mean the foundations are in place. If there’s another element to your day you can’t live without, like a specific band you just need there, for example, then make sure you have that sorted too. The basic rule of thumb is, as soon as you can!

What format should the Save the Dates be?

Any format you like! The most basic is a text message or email, but my advice is that people see it as a more formal and important occasion when they receive post. A simple one-sided postcard would do the trick!

When might we not need Save the Dates?

If you’re newly engaged but you’re getting married very soon, say the next 6 months, you could probably skip straight to the invitations. Equally, if you plan only to invite someone to the evening, you may decide not to send them a Save the Date card.

What budget should we have for Save the Dates?

This depends on the quantities, time frame, complexity of design and finishes. The more you have and the more intricate the design - we’re talking bespoke watercolour illustrations, coloured foils, that sort of thing - the higher the price. However I would say that Save the Dates should take up 10 - 15% of your wedding stationery budget.

💖🧡💛

Wedding Invitations

What are they?

Your wedding invitations are both a formal way of requesting the presence of your guests at your wedding and giving them the information they need. This will help them decide whether they can make it and also how to navigate the event - especially if you’re organising entertainment on the days before or after.

When should we send Wedding Invitations?

This can vary on a few factors. If you’re having a destination wedding, people will need to know as soon as possible what the details are for travelling and staying abroad. They might also have to plan Visas, jabs and child/pet care so I’d recommend sending invitations for a wedding like this as soon as you’ve nailed down the ceremony and reception venues and the accommodation (if you’re providing it).

It’s extra work, but it’s also really helpful to provide some flight suggestions and remind your guests not to keep checking online for this information as it makes the flight prices go up for everyone!

If you’re getting married closer to home, then 6-9 months before your wedding would be my recommendation. Don’t panic if this isn’t possible, you can always get things sorted with quick turnarounds. If you think it’s too stressful to wait for things to fall into place before posting paper invitations, you can opt for a digital solution. You can have a website and email your guests when details are updated. Bear in mind though that older guests may not be so savvy with tech!

What format should the Wedding Invitations be?

Wedding invitations can be a booklet, a series of info cards, a website, a folded poster… The digital and paper-goods possibilities are endless! It’s really up to you, how much information you have and what your aesthetic is for your wedding.

RSVPS

What are they?

Whether it’s a text message, email, postcard or letter, your RSVPs allow your guests to respond to your invitations. The acronym stands for ‘Répondez s'il vous plaît’, which is French for ‘Please respond’. You can ask your guests to let you know however you like, but it’s quite popular to get them to either email a specific address you’ve set up or fill out a card you’ve included with the invitation.

With their response, they’ll need to tell you whether they can come, and often whether they need accommodation, and what their meal choice is. This can be as simple as just including their dietary requirements.

What budget should we have for Wedding Invitations and RSVPs?

This depends on the same factors as your Save the Dates. Invitations are more complex and detailed than a simple card. If you opt for paper invitations, remember to consider finishes, quantities and postage costs. If you opt for a website, factor in hosting and domain costs and the on-going up-keep. Wedding invitations should take up 45-50% of your wedding stationery budget.

💖🧡💛

On-the-day stationery

What are they?

On-the-day stationery covers all the paper goods that help your guests work their way around the event. It covers welcome signs, orders-of-service for the ceremony, maps, signposts, table plans, menus, place cards, table names or numbers and/or escort cards. I’ll outline these below!

Welcome signs

What are they?

These are posters or banners that are placed at the entrance to your venue(s). They have a nod to the ‘branding’ your guests have come to recognise is yours, and are very simple. Something like:

WELCOME TO THE WEDDING OF
Karina & Antonia
11th April 2020

We’re so happy you’re here!

Orders-of-Service

What are they?

Some couples have these as booklets for the ceremony, especially if it’s a religious affair as they can contain hymn lyrics or passages. They can include the order of what is going to happen, like prayers, vows and readings and they can list who is in the wedding party. Other couples incorporate this into their welcome sign if it’s a list of timings for the whole day. For example:

3:15pm - Cocktails and canapés
5:00pm - Wedding breakfast
6:30pm - Speeches
7:30pm - Let them eat cake!
7:45pm - Hit the dancefloor!
9:30pm - Hot snacks
12:30 - Carriages

Table plans, menus, place cards, table names or numbers, escort cards

What are they?

I’ve bunched these together because they’re in the same realm of stationery for the day. All of them direct guests where they’re sitting to eat - you won’t need these at all if you’re having a relaxed buffet-style meal where anyone can sit where they like! It’s sometimes nice to have a planned table for a few reasons:

1. You can plan in advance for wheelchairs, highchairs and anticipate any potential accessibility issues to make your guests feel as comfortable and stress-free as possible

2. You can mix up social groups to get your guests to mingle

3. A sit-down meal feels special and relaxed before the festivities ahead.

Once again though, I encourage you to do what you both want and what your budget allows!

Okay, so here’s an explanation of each thing:

Table plans - These show a map of each table, it’s name, vague location and who is going to be sat on it

Menus - These display what’s on offer for your guests to eat. Often they’ve chosen well in advance so they might like something to jog their memory!

Table names or numbers - This simply differentiates one table from another. Often couples choose names which reflect their over-arching wedding theme, such as cities, books or films.

Escort cards - These can be displayed on a welcome table and incorporate both the guest name and table name/number on to one card.

What budget should we have for On-The-Day Stationery?

This depends on which items you choose, quantities and materials. Some couples opt for a perspex or wood welcome sign, for example, which is more expensive than paper. I’d recommend setting aside 30-40% of your wedding stationery budget.

💖🧡💛

Thank You Cards

What are they?

These not only thank your guests for coming along to your wedding, but for any gifts they may have given you too.

What format should the Thank You Cards be?

Again you can opt for email, but I’d really push for something printed here as a keepsake. You could choose your favourite wedding photograph or something memorable about the day. In one wedding recently, the groom surprised the bride with fireworks, so they chose to reflect that in their signature illustrative style on their thank you cards.

When should we send Thank You Cards?

When you get a chance amongst that post-wedded bliss! If you’re waiting for the photographs to come back, going on honeymoon and adjusting to married life, I anticipate it’d be 4-6 weeks after you tie the knot.

What budget should we have for Wedding Invitations and RSVPs?

I’d recommend saving 5-10% of your wedding stationery budget for thank you cards, including postage.

💖🧡💛

My Top Tips

Whatever you choose to do, your wedding stationery can really reflect you both. Don’t opt for run-of-the-mill - get one-off suites that are truly bespoke and embody your love story.

Make your aesthetic consistent. Once you’ve settled on your look, carry it through everything. It’ll get guests excited on the lead up and help them on the day as they’ll be able to recognise signage. If you do choose to have on-the-day printed stationery, then this helps build the visual style across your venue and will be reflected in all of your beautiful wedding photography.

If you’re into social media, create a fun hashtag so that photos taken by your guests on the day are collated together. You’ll do lots of mingling and hosting so it’s amazing to look back at the magic moments around the room that you might have missed. Put that hashtag on your stationery before and during the event to encourage your guests to use it and capture the whole journey in one feed.

💖🧡💛

As ever, I’m here to answer your questions and help you on your way. Just get in touch!

Alternative Bridal Looks

You don’t have to fit into any archaic expectations - It’s your day, you can wear what you want! Here are some lovely examples of alternative bridal looks. Remember, the thing that makes you beautiful is confidence so channel that, own your style and boss it 💪 You’ll look amazing!

via Wedding Diaries

via Festival Brides

by Morgan Wade

via Festival Brides

via Christina McNeill

by Joanna Bongard

by Assassynation

by Indigo & Violet

by Beatrici

by Remain in Light