Wedding planning can get crazy. It’s so easy to lose sight of what matters and get totally frazzled in the process. I know this because I did it myself! Guest list, table plans, venues, outfits, family dynamics and friendship politics; It’s enough to drive anyone up the wall. Remember; this is supposed to be fun, and be about you two being in love - that’s all! So let’s have a little re-centre and focus on things to make us calm, relaxed and excited about the big day ahead.

Staying calm

Meditate

Wedding planning or not, having some down time to quieten your racing mind is always a good thing. I find it hard to do this without a voice leading me, so I use the app Headspace. It takes you through meditations for various times and scenarios, and even helps you drift off to sleep at night. Regularly checking in with yourself can help balance you and bring some peace.

Exercise

You may love to run, swim, dance or play a sport - and then you’ll already know the restorative feeling you get from exercising. You may be more like me (whose fave part of yoga is savasana - the bit at the end when you get to lay down). In which case, a sunset walk or a few gentle stretches might be more tempting, and can reset you for the next bit of wedding planning. Even better, you can do this with your partner and make it more fun!

Give fewer shits!

Easier said than done, I know. My top tip here would be follow the mantra ‘What if I do nothing?’ So if a task or worry comes up around wedding planning, ask yourself that question. More often than not, you’ll come up with ‘reasons’ why you need to work, but keep asking yourself why. If the answer is ‘because people are expecting it’, sack it the hell off. Your day, your rules.

Staying on top of it

Organisation

You don’t need to be a hardcore freak in the (Excel spread-) sheets or avid mood-boarder. But I guarantee you will feel calmer and happier if things are written down and visualised. It’s helpful to know what’s been done, what’s still to do and set deadlines for tasks. Just do bite-sized chunks at a time.

If you’re not sure where to start, I’ve written a blog post about what you might want to organise for your wedding. My absolute top tip here is using a Trello Board. Trello is a free organisation tool which you can access online and via an app. It will allow you to collaborate with your partner so you can both see what’s going on. You can add links, images, notes and comments, set deadlines and you can colour code and label things too. It’s super easy to pick up and will save you a whole heap of stress. Here’s an example of a Trello board for a couple who are wedding planning -

Delegation and team work

You don’t have to do it all alone! You will burnout if you pile yourself up with jobs and don’t ask for help. Haven’t got your RSVPs back yet? Ask your parents to chase people. Need to put together the table plan? Get your wedding party round for cheese and wine and do it together. Don’t know how to dress the venue? Hire a kickass wedding stylist who will do it all for you. You don’t have to carry the weight of organising on your own. In my experience, people love to help because they are so thrilled to be included in your plans.

Remember you’re doing this together. Reward yourselves when big things like booking the venue are ticked off. If you’re getting upset at each other about anything, take a break from planning and do something to blow off steam together.

Don’t do more than you have to

I have had so many couples looking up recommendations for accommodation, flight times from various airports and taxi numbers to help their guests. This is nice, but it takes time, so if you’re running low on that, don’t feel you have to do these things.

Everyone has access to Google these days, and folks tend to organise themselves more than you might think. Older guests might need a helping hand, but you don’t need to go above and beyond for every single person attending your wedding. Do as much as you enjoy doing and then forget the surplus work.

Having fun

Date nights

This is something we could all do more of, I’m sure. When I’m in the midst of a project or find myself busy with balancing work, children, the dreaded laundry pile and sleep - my partner gets shoved down to the bottom of the list.

Spending time together, preferably outside the house, helps us reconnect. A trip to the theatre, a pub quiz, dance class, cooking together - It always makes us feel closer and happier, whatever we do when we make time for us. We just need to remember to put away our phones and be present with one another to make it really worthwhile!

Top tip: We’ve started using The Adventure Challenge - Couples Edition. We scratch off date ideas and photograph what we’ve done to create a book of memories. It’s really great fun and makes a lovely keepsake too. All the date ideas so far have been original and we’ve enjoyed them - I laughed a lot at J making a key lime pie with a blindfold on!

Focus on each other

Sometimes we need a little reminder as to why we are pumping our heart, soul and money into a wedding. However big or small your celebration will be and whether you’re chilled about it or on the brink of a breakdown - remind yourself why you’re getting married. It’s them; That’s all that matters.

The day’s highlights

You can make it through any stress when you focus on the goals. There will be key moments on the day that you can look forward to, and this will help get over any potential bumps in the wedding planning road.

You may or may not have these, but here are some ideas of exciting and happy points to anticipate:

Your first look at each other on the day
Walking back up an aisle as a married pair
Funny and sentimental speeches and toasts from family and friends
Hitting the dance floor with your best mates
Going off on honeymoon

In times of worry when you’re planning, know it’ll all be worth it when you get to do the things you both really want to do on the day. Every wedding looks different, and rightfully so. We are all unique, and so are our relationships - and therefore the ways we chose to celebrate them. Now go have fun, lovebirds!

Have you got any tips, questions, worries or comments? Leave me your thoughts and share with anyone who might need to read this!